Re: [Gen-art] Gen-ART Last Call review of draft-ietf-ice-dualstack-fairness-03

"Pal Martinsen (palmarti)" <palmarti@cisco.com> Thu, 04 August 2016 06:55 UTC

Return-Path: <palmarti@cisco.com>
X-Original-To: gen-art@ietfa.amsl.com
Delivered-To: gen-art@ietfa.amsl.com
Received: from localhost (localhost [127.0.0.1]) by ietfa.amsl.com (Postfix) with ESMTP id E18E912D131 for <gen-art@ietfa.amsl.com>; Wed, 3 Aug 2016 23:55:33 -0700 (PDT)
X-Virus-Scanned: amavisd-new at amsl.com
X-Spam-Flag: NO
X-Spam-Score: -15.807
X-Spam-Level:
X-Spam-Status: No, score=-15.807 tagged_above=-999 required=5 tests=[BAYES_00=-1.9, DKIM_SIGNED=0.1, DKIM_VALID=-0.1, DKIM_VALID_AU=-0.1, HTML_MESSAGE=0.001, RCVD_IN_DNSWL_HI=-5, RCVD_IN_MSPIKE_H3=-0.01, RCVD_IN_MSPIKE_WL=-0.01, RP_MATCHES_RCVD=-1.287, SPF_PASS=-0.001, USER_IN_DEF_DKIM_WL=-7.5] autolearn=ham autolearn_force=no
Authentication-Results: ietfa.amsl.com (amavisd-new); dkim=pass (1024-bit key) header.d=cisco.com
Received: from mail.ietf.org ([4.31.198.44]) by localhost (ietfa.amsl.com [127.0.0.1]) (amavisd-new, port 10024) with ESMTP id keVSCs9d5DHZ for <gen-art@ietfa.amsl.com>; Wed, 3 Aug 2016 23:55:32 -0700 (PDT)
Received: from alln-iport-8.cisco.com (alln-iport-8.cisco.com [173.37.142.95]) (using TLSv1.2 with cipher DHE-RSA-SEED-SHA (128/128 bits)) (No client certificate requested) by ietfa.amsl.com (Postfix) with ESMTPS id D1C0E12D103 for <gen-art@ietf.org>; Wed, 3 Aug 2016 23:55:27 -0700 (PDT)
DKIM-Signature: v=1; a=rsa-sha256; c=relaxed/simple; d=cisco.com; i=@cisco.com; l=15018; q=dns/txt; s=iport; t=1470293727; x=1471503327; h=from:to:cc:subject:date:message-id:references: in-reply-to:mime-version; bh=dABB1yZE6ZsedCab6Cn6WzeWMFVQEKt4k5Z3PYEPsqU=; b=dbgX1ddGZO3aW6cVwYZreC2L1oA6kCGHVhIr3gGzVqHVWXABO7iwZ5UE rSgVGXGGn9cEXtWRatNfCZCGKXdK2sJJNWbtmPO3kRDk6qfBSqf45F7Tx T7kr3qQT879oAmTbqn3sP2oUDtgi6xYuuqSWP0qdx3IFA/OLww4W+HP+C c=;
X-IronPort-Anti-Spam-Filtered: true
X-IronPort-Anti-Spam-Result: =?us-ascii?q?A0BxAgCU5qJX/4QNJK1dgndOVnwHtBOFB?= =?us-ascii?q?oF9JIV5AhyBMTgUAQEBAQEBAV0nhF8BBSMEIjAQAgEIBw0rAwICAjAUEQEBBA4?= =?us-ascii?q?FiDEOr02PewEBAQEBAQEBAQEBAQEBAQEBAQEBARyGKoF4gVKBA4RgHoJDK4IvB?= =?us-ascii?q?Zk0AYYXiGiBa06EDYh6jDCDdgEPDzaDem4BhyV/AQEB?=
X-IronPort-AV: E=Sophos;i="5.28,469,1464652800"; d="scan'208,217";a="306501389"
Received: from alln-core-10.cisco.com ([173.36.13.132]) by alln-iport-8.cisco.com with ESMTP/TLS/DHE-RSA-AES256-SHA; 04 Aug 2016 06:55:17 +0000
Received: from XCH-RCD-020.cisco.com (xch-rcd-020.cisco.com [173.37.102.30]) by alln-core-10.cisco.com (8.14.5/8.14.5) with ESMTP id u746tHXE002335 (version=TLSv1/SSLv3 cipher=AES256-SHA bits=256 verify=FAIL); Thu, 4 Aug 2016 06:55:17 GMT
Received: from xch-rcd-019.cisco.com (173.37.102.29) by XCH-RCD-020.cisco.com (173.37.102.30) with Microsoft SMTP Server (TLS) id 15.0.1210.3; Thu, 4 Aug 2016 01:55:16 -0500
Received: from xch-rcd-019.cisco.com ([173.37.102.29]) by XCH-RCD-019.cisco.com ([173.37.102.29]) with mapi id 15.00.1210.000; Thu, 4 Aug 2016 01:55:16 -0500
From: "Pal Martinsen (palmarti)" <palmarti@cisco.com>
To: Meral Shirazipour <meral.shirazipour@ericsson.com>
Thread-Topic: Gen-ART Last Call review of draft-ietf-ice-dualstack-fairness-03
Thread-Index: AdHW0802DzrcZCKMRWCrf5R64bZmCgXc0NwA
Date: Thu, 4 Aug 2016 06:55:16 +0000
Message-ID: <DC0BB6B3-A683-43B6-A080-1F0448583388@cisco.com>
References: <ABCAA4EF18F17B4FB619EA93DEF7939A4E665CDB@eusaamb107.ericsson.se>
In-Reply-To: <ABCAA4EF18F17B4FB619EA93DEF7939A4E665CDB@eusaamb107.ericsson.se>
Accept-Language: en-US
Content-Language: en-US
X-MS-Has-Attach:
X-MS-TNEF-Correlator:
x-ms-exchange-messagesentrepresentingtype: 1
x-ms-exchange-transport-fromentityheader: Hosted
x-originating-ip: [10.61.217.3]
Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="_000_DC0BB6B3A68343B6A0801F0448583388ciscocom_"
MIME-Version: 1.0
Archived-At: <https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/gen-art/iFnuvnmw6Gfy_E4Om1WLsdyYtT4>
Cc: "gen-art@ietf.org" <gen-art@ietf.org>, "draft-ietf-ice-dualstack-fairness.all@tools.ietf.org" <draft-ietf-ice-dualstack-fairness.all@tools.ietf.org>
Subject: Re: [Gen-art] Gen-ART Last Call review of draft-ietf-ice-dualstack-fairness-03
X-BeenThere: gen-art@ietf.org
X-Mailman-Version: 2.1.17
Precedence: list
List-Id: "GEN-ART: General Area Review Team" <gen-art.ietf.org>
List-Unsubscribe: <https://www.ietf.org/mailman/options/gen-art>, <mailto:gen-art-request@ietf.org?subject=unsubscribe>
List-Archive: <https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/browse/gen-art/>
List-Post: <mailto:gen-art@ietf.org>
List-Help: <mailto:gen-art-request@ietf.org?subject=help>
List-Subscribe: <https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art>, <mailto:gen-art-request@ietf.org?subject=subscribe>
X-List-Received-Date: Thu, 04 Aug 2016 06:55:34 -0000

On 05 Jul 2016, at 17:46, Meral Shirazipour <meral.shirazipour@ericsson.com<mailto:meral.shirazipour@ericsson.com>> wrote:

I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed by the IESG for the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments just like any other last call comments.

For more information, please see the FAQ at <http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.


Document:  draft-ietf-ice-dualstack-fairness-03
Reviewer: Meral Shirazipour
Review Date: 2016-07-05
IETF LC End Date:  2016-07-08
IESG Telechat date: NA


Summary:
This draft is ready to be published as BCP RFC but I have some comments.

Major issues:

Minor issues:

Nits/editorial comments:
-[Page 2], “arguable be better"---->"arguably be better"
Fixed
-[Page 2], “types know"---->"types known"
Fixed
-[Page 8], Section 7.1 and 7.2 have the same title, is that by choice?
Sort of. Theee sections are implementation details and will be removed in the published RFC.

-[Page 9], Section 10.1, first reference ([I-D.ietf-ice-rfc5245bis])to be updated to latest version.
-Also on [Page 4] Reference to “section 4.1.2.1" of [I-D.ietf-ice-rfc5245bis], it would be good to list the section title too (in case the numbering changes in the final version).
Good point. Fixed.


New version uploaded. It also contains fixes from the secdir review.

.-.
Pål-Erik


Best Regards,
Meral
---
Meral Shirazipour
Ericsson Research
www.ericsson.com<http://www.ericsson.com/>