Re: [Gen-art] review of draft-ietf-clue-data-model-schema-14.txt

[Simon Pietro Romano <[e-mail]>]

Hello Francis,

let us thank you for your comments! Please find below (preceded by [spromano]) our answers.

> Document: draft-ietf-clue-data-model-schema-14.txt
> Reviewer: Francis Dupont
> Review Date: 20160525
> IETF LC End Date: 20160523
> IESG Telechat date: 20160602
> 
> Summary: Ready with nits
> 
> Major issues: none
> 
> Minor issues: none
> 
> Nits/editorial comments:
> - I first had a concern about the CLUE abbrev (abbrevs which are not
>  "well known" according to the RFC Editor's list requires expansion
>   at their first use in the Abstract and in the body, i.e., likely
>   the introduction) but in fact CLUE is not an abbrev but a nickname.
>   I strongly suggest to this (i.e., it is not really an abbrev) in
>   the introduction (1 page 4) with an explicit reference to the
>   framework document where are details. BTW IMHO:
>    * you can leave the CLUE name in the title and the abstract
>    * this recommendation should apply to all CLUE documents
>     (at the exception of the framework one of course)

[spromano] Done. We added the following sentence to the introduction:

************************************************************************
For the benefit of the reader, the term 'CLUE' stands for 
"ControLling mUltiple streams for tElepresence" and is the name of 
the IETF working group in which this document, as well asother companion 
documents has been developed. A thorough definition of the CLUE
framework can be found in <xref target="I-D.ietf-clue-framework”/>

************************************************************************

> 
> - ToC page 3 and 16.3 page 48: use " vs ' around application/clue_info+xml
>  (for consistency)
> 

[spromano] Done.

> - 3 page 5: Scene.. -> Scene.

[spromano] Done.

> 
> - 3 page 5: E.g. -> E.g.,

[spromano] Done.

> - 3 page 6: e.g. -> e.g.,

[spromano] Done.

> - 4 page 7 (people): (Section 11.29). -> (Section 11.29)
>  (for consistency)

[spromano] Done.

> - 4 page 13 (multiple): sensitivyPattern* -> sensitivityPattern*

[spromano] Done.

> - 11.16 page 28: highly-dinamic -> highly-dynamic

[spromano] Done.

> - 11.27.3 page 39: simultanous -> simultaneous

[spromano] Done.

> - 15 page 46: captures , capture -> captures, capture

[spromano] We did not find this one.

> - 17 page 54 and 18 pages 61, 63 and 64 : Soundlevel -> SoundLevel

[spromano] Done

> - 30 page 70: AD -> Area Director

[spromano] Done

> - 31 pages 70 to 72: usually normative references are before informative
>  references. I don't know if it is a strong requirement but if it is
>  easy for you to swap 31.1 with 31.2 it will at least follow
>  the "least astonishment" rule…

[spromano] Done

> Note I didn't check the xml stuff itself (there are automatic tools
> for this not-for-human task).

[spromano] Right!

Thanks 1k for your review,

Simon and Roberta


> 
> Regards
> 
> [e-mail]
> 

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                    				Simon Pietro Romano
             				 Universita' di Napoli Federico II
                		     Computer Engineering Department 
	             Phone: [phone] -- Fax: [phone]
                                           e-mail: [e-mail]

		    <<Molti mi dicono che lo scoraggiamento è l'alibi degli 
		    idioti. Ci rifletto un istante; e mi scoraggio>>. Magritte.
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