[Gen-art] Gen-ART telechat review of draft-ietf-mediactrl-call-flows-13.txt

Brian E Carpenter <brian.e.carpenter@gmail.com> Sun, 08 September 2013 01:06 UTC

Return-Path: <brian.e.carpenter@gmail.com>
X-Original-To: gen-art@ietfa.amsl.com
Delivered-To: gen-art@ietfa.amsl.com
Received: from localhost (localhost [127.0.0.1]) by ietfa.amsl.com (Postfix) with ESMTP id 1013521E8087 for <gen-art@ietfa.amsl.com>; Sat, 7 Sep 2013 18:06:02 -0700 (PDT)
X-Virus-Scanned: amavisd-new at amsl.com
X-Spam-Flag: NO
X-Spam-Score: -102.642
X-Spam-Level:
X-Spam-Status: No, score=-102.642 tagged_above=-999 required=5 tests=[AWL=-0.043, BAYES_00=-2.599, USER_IN_WHITELIST=-100]
Received: from mail.ietf.org ([12.22.58.30]) by localhost (ietfa.amsl.com [127.0.0.1]) (amavisd-new, port 10024) with ESMTP id YlIhWbb6SMnp for <gen-art@ietfa.amsl.com>; Sat, 7 Sep 2013 18:06:01 -0700 (PDT)
Received: from mail-pb0-x230.google.com (mail-pb0-x230.google.com [IPv6:2607:f8b0:400e:c01::230]) by ietfa.amsl.com (Postfix) with ESMTP id 92FB321E8064 for <gen-art@ietf.org>; Sat, 7 Sep 2013 18:06:00 -0700 (PDT)
Received: by mail-pb0-f48.google.com with SMTP id ma3so4702433pbc.35 for <gen-art@ietf.org>; Sat, 07 Sep 2013 18:06:00 -0700 (PDT)
DKIM-Signature: v=1; a=rsa-sha256; c=relaxed/relaxed; d=gmail.com; s=20120113; h=message-id:date:from:organization:user-agent:mime-version:to :subject:content-type:content-transfer-encoding; bh=2r5lBVMc4+hUBzNkd+1nYCt906BIc4MP7tLk79c0TwM=; b=oVQQN82UXZmWFCaQWRC46hpShp3XtaQxFARzun25OtaKqewI3edNI1Itrag6Dy/H58 8wR+JOTmj4V0YdeO9Evix+5ra6mBj2vWeoYx8Q+vGFMThzIZtalulMsaGwxWL2RKKJ/E Enyio5Kqu29LjiEelCa3/Zi8s05JXgj5LuEgtIA8x/+ZUMihVaP9t4qMlDDtZ0nC3BGL SFaqYthXQxCeJg0p+/8gP+JvXmYHW/wFLC9siBF6PllRe3leVMV/xSsAk+LQUg8GLRNJ g0khXv/5MjhjWg2I1DbAs4lDUikoDWDjwqxTCVOLhJSw3lncASuW8AhavVf70yyFMDxI svkA==
X-Received: by 10.68.129.201 with SMTP id ny9mr9916896pbb.70.1378602360336; Sat, 07 Sep 2013 18:06:00 -0700 (PDT)
Received: from [192.168.178.20] (121.196.69.111.dynamic.snap.net.nz. [111.69.196.121]) by mx.google.com with ESMTPSA id wd6sm7640895pab.3.1969.12.31.16.00.00 (version=TLSv1 cipher=ECDHE-RSA-RC4-SHA bits=128/128); Sat, 07 Sep 2013 18:05:59 -0700 (PDT)
Message-ID: <522BCD73.1020008@gmail.com>
Date: Sun, 08 Sep 2013 13:05:55 +1200
From: Brian E Carpenter <brian.e.carpenter@gmail.com>
Organization: University of Auckland
User-Agent: Thunderbird 2.0.0.6 (Windows/20070728)
MIME-Version: 1.0
To: draft-ietf-mediactrl-call-flows.all@tools.ietf.org, General Area Review Team <gen-art@ietf.org>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="UTF-8"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
Subject: [Gen-art] Gen-ART telechat review of draft-ietf-mediactrl-call-flows-13.txt
X-BeenThere: gen-art@ietf.org
X-Mailman-Version: 2.1.12
Precedence: list
List-Id: "GEN-ART: General Area Review Team" <gen-art.ietf.org>
List-Unsubscribe: <https://www.ietf.org/mailman/options/gen-art>, <mailto:gen-art-request@ietf.org?subject=unsubscribe>
List-Archive: <http://www.ietf.org/mail-archive/web/gen-art>
List-Post: <mailto:gen-art@ietf.org>
List-Help: <mailto:gen-art-request@ietf.org?subject=help>
List-Subscribe: <https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art>, <mailto:gen-art-request@ietf.org?subject=subscribe>
X-List-Received-Date: Sun, 08 Sep 2013 01:06:02 -0000

I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on
Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq.

Please wait for direction from your document shepherd or AD before posting a
new version of the draft.

Document: draft-ietf-mediactrl-call-flows-13.txt (Informational)
Reviewer: Brian Carpenter
Review Date: 2013-09-08
IETF LC End Date: 2013-09-03
IESG Telechat date: 2013-09-12

Summary:  Ready
--------

Comment:
--------

This is a massive (175pp) and highly specialised document, for which a generalist
review is pretty much useless. I have not checked the example flows, XML extracts, etc.
IMHO, we have to trust the authors and the WG in a case like this.

The document is clear and where I have sampled the text in the examples it is
up to standard.

This review is the same as for Last Call; my comments are just editorial suggestions.

Editorial:
----------

There are a few abbreviations (AS, MS, CFW) that could usefully be included
in the Terminology section.

Also, AS is widely used in the IETF to mean Autonomous System. Some readers
might be confused at first, so this should be stated very clearly.

"Mealy automaton" (section 4.1) needs a reference. Or it might be sufficient
just to say "finite state automaton."