Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9326 <draft-ietf-ippm-ioam-direct-export-11> for your review

[Megan Ferguson <[e-mail]>]

Greetings Shwetha, Frank, and Haoyu,

Thank you for your replies.  We have recorded your approvals at the AUTH48 status page (see http://www.rfc-editor.org/auth48/rfc9326).  Note that we will assume your assent to further changes submitted by your coauthors unless we hear otherwise at that time.

Frank - we have incorporated your changes to Section 3.1.1 and your address in the files below.  Please review carefully as we do not make updates once the document is published. 

  The files have been posted here (please refresh):
   https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9326.txt
   https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9326.pdf
   https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9326.html
   https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9326.xml

  The relevant diff files have been posted here (please refresh):
   https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9326-diff.html (comprehensive diff)
   https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9326-rfcdiff.html (comprehensive rfcdiff)
   https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9326-auth48diff.html (AUTH48 changes)
   https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9326-lastdiff.html (last version to this)
   https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9326-lastrfcdiff.html (last version to this rfcdiff)

Thank you.

RFC Editor/mf

> On Oct 19, 2022, at 1:50 AM, Shwetha Bhandari <[e-mail]> wrote:
> 
> Hello RFC Editor Team,
> 
> I approve the document too. I do not have further comments.
> 
> Thanks,
> Shwetha
> 
> On Wed, Oct 12, 2022 at 1:00 AM Frank Brockners (fbrockne) <[e-mail]> wrote:
> Hi RFC Editor Team, Tal,
> 
> Thanks a lot for the edits. I also approve the doc, subject to a few changes - see inline on top of Tal's changes - and below (address change).
> 
> Tal - note there is one delta between our comments - see inline.
> 
> In addition, the editorial changes that were done to my address render it wrong. 
> 
> OLD:
>    Frank Brockners
>    Cisco Systems, Inc.
>    3rd Floor
>    Hansaallee 249
>    40549 Duesseldorf
>    Germany
>    Email: [e-mail]
> 
> NEW
>    Frank Brockners
>    Cisco Systems, Inc.
>    Hansaallee 249
>    40549 Duesseldorf
>    Germany
>    Email: [e-mail]
> 
> If you really want to mention the floor (I suggest to drop it), then it needs to go below the "Hansaallee 249":
>    Frank Brockners
>    Cisco Systems, Inc.
>    Hansaallee 249
>    3rd Floor
>    40549 Duesseldorf
>    Germany
>    Email: [e-mail]
> 
> Thanks again, Frank
> 
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: Tal Mizrahi <[e-mail]>
> > Sent: Saturday, 8 October 2022 13:59
> > To: [e-mail]
> > Cc: [e-mail]; [e-mail]; Frank Brockners
> > (fbrockne) <[e-mail]>; [e-mail]; ippm-
> > [e-mail]; [e-mail]; [e-mail];
> > [e-mail]; [e-mail]
> > Subject: Re: AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9326 <draft-ietf-ippm-ioam-direct-export-11>
> > for your review
> > 
> > Dear RFC Editor Team,
> > 
> > Thanks for your work on this document.
> > I approve the document, subject to the comments below.
> > Please see my responses and comments inline, marked [TM].
> > 
> > Thanks,
> > Tal.
> > 
> > On Sat, Oct 8, 2022 at 3:04 AM <[e-mail]> wrote:
> > >
> > > Authors,
> > >
> > > While reviewing this document during AUTH48, please resolve (as necessary)
> > the following questions, which are also in the XML file.
> > >
> > > 1) <!-- [rfced] Please note that the title of the document has been updated as
> > follows:
> > >
> > > a) Abbreviations have been expanded per Section 3.6 of RFC 7322 ("RFC
> > > Style Guide").
> > >
> > > b) The hyphen in "In-situ" has been removed to be consistent with
> > > recently published IOAM documents. Please review.
> > >
> > > Original:
> > > In-situ OAM Direct Exporting
> > >
> > > Current:
> > > In Situ Operations, Administration, and Maintenance (IOAM) Direct
> > > Exporting
> > > -->
> > 
> > [TM] Looks good.
> > 
> > >
> > >
> > > 2) <!-- [rfced] We had the following questions related to similar text in
> > >      both the Abstract and Introduction:
> > >
> > > Original (Abstract):
> > > This document introduces a new IOAM option type (denoted
> > > IOAM-Option-Type) called the Direct Export (DEX) Option-Type, which is
> > > used as a trigger for IOAM data to be directly exported or locally
> > > aggregated without being pushed into in-flight data packets.
> > >
> > > Original (Introduction):
> > > This document defines a new IOAM-Option-Type called the Direct Export
> > > (DEX) Option-Type.  This Option-Type is used as a trigger for IOAM
> > > nodes to locally aggregate and process IOAM data, and/or to export it
> > > to a receiving entity (or entities).
> > >
> > >
> > > a) We have updated mentions in the text above to use "IOAM Direct
> > > Export (DEX) Option-Type" to exactly match its use at
> > > https://urldefense.com/v3/__https://www.iana.org/assignments/ioam/ioam.xhtml__;!!MZ3Fw45to5uY!JQjsM3SadJmgep6JwmJachqnO73MJFLk3MGF0BekRpoXZWLepXWBrWvaaTKusmLBIh4lqIM01ApgRiBtzlSzVSajYg$ .  Please let us know
> > > any objections and/or if similar changes should be made elsewhere in the
> > document (specifically the IANA Considerations section?).
> > 
> > [TM] Looks good, and in my opinion there is no need for further changes.
> > 
> > >
> > > b) There is some difference in the description of how the DEX
> > > Option-Type is used in the Intro and Abstract.  Please let us know
> > > if/how these instances should be made consistent.
> > 
> > [TM] I would be fine with the current text. In my opinion there is no need for the
> > abstract and introduction to be identical.
> > 
> > >
> > > -->
> > >
> > >
> > > 3) <!-- [rfced] FYI: We changed "Direct EXporting" to "Direct Exporting" for
> > consistency throughout the document. Please let us know of any objections.
> > >
> > > Original:
> > > DEX: Direct EXporting
> > >
> > > Current:
> > > DEX: Direct Exporting
> > > -->
> > 
> > [TM] Looks good.
> > 
> > >
> > >
> > > 4) <!-- [rfced] FYI: We rearranged parts of this sentence and added more
> > >      context (specifically to the content in parenthesis) for ease of the
> > >      reader. Please let us know of any objections.
> > >
> > > Original:
> > > An IOAM encapsulating node configured to incorporate the DEX
> > > Option-Type encapsulates (possibly a subset of) the packets it
> > > forwards with the DEX Option-Type, and MAY export and/or collect the
> > > requested IOAM data immediately.
> > >
> > > Current:
> > > An IOAM encapsulating node configured to incorporate the DEX
> > > Option-Type encapsulates the packets (and possibly a subset of the
> > > packets) it forwards with the DEX Option-Type and MAY export and/or
> > > collect the requested IOAM data immediately.
> > 
> > [TM] I suggest the following change:
> > OLD:
> > and possibly a subset
> > NEW:
> > or possibly a subset
> > 
> > 
> > 
> > > -->
> > >
> > >
> > > 5) <!-- [rfced] Will readers know what "it" is referring to in this
> > >      sentence?
> > >
> > > Original:
> > > Therefore, an IOAM encapsulating node that supports the DEX
> > > Option-Type MUST support the ability to incorporate the DEX
> > > Option-Type selectively into a subset of the packets that are
> > > forwarded by it.
> > >
> > > Perhaps:
> > > Therefore, an IOAM encapsulating node that supports the DEX
> > > Option-Type MUST support the ability to incorporate the DEX
> > > Option-Type selectively into a subset of the packets that are
> > > forwarded by the DEX Option-Type.
> > > -->
> > >
> > 
> > [TM] Looks good.
> 
> [FB] IMHO the new proposal is confusing to say the least. The new text could be read as if the DEX Option-Type would forward packets. Whereas it is the IOAM encapsulating node that forwards the packets.
> 
> Suggestion:
> 
> ORIGINAL:
> Therefore, an IOAM encapsulating node that supports the DEX
> Option-Type MUST support the ability to incorporate the DEX
> Option-Type selectively into a subset of the packets that are
> forwarded by it.
> 
> NEW:
> Therefore, an IOAM encapsulating node that supports the DEX
> Option-Type MUST support the ability to incorporate the DEX
> Option-Type selectively into a subset of the packets that are
> forwarded by the IOAM encapsulating node.
> 
> > 
> > >
> > > 6) <!-- [rfced] We suggest rephrasing and condensing this sentence, as it may
> > be difficult to parse for some readers due to the number of adverbs. Would the
> > suggested text change the original meaning of the sentence?
> > >
> > > Original:
> > > As mentioned above, the data can be locally collected, and optionally
> > > can be aggregated and exported to a receiving entity, either
> > > proactively or on-demand.
> > >
> > > Perhaps:
> > > As mentioned above, the data can be locally collected, aggregated, and
> > > exported to a receiving entity proactively or on-demand.
> > > -->
> > 
> > [TM] Yes, except that I suggest replacing "and" with "and/or".
> > 
> > >
> > >
> > > 7) <!-- [rfced] FYI: In Section 3.2, we updated the terms "Optional
> > >      fields", "Flow ID", and "Sequence Number" to fall under a nested
> > >      definition list. Please confirm that this accurately describes
> > >      the figure and let us know if there are any objections.
> > > -->
> > 
> > [TM] Looks good.
> > 
> > >
> > >
> > > 8) <!--[rfced] FYI - I-D.ietf-ippm-ioam-flags is in AUTH48 state. We have
> > >      updated the reference in this document to point to the RFC-to-be info
> > >      assuming that document will be published before this one.  Please
> > >      advise on how you would like to proceed in the event that
> > >      I-D.ietf-ippm-ioam-flags does not complete AUTH48 prior to this
> > >      doc (i.e., revert the reference to the I-D format or hold on
> > >      publication of this document?).-->
> > >
> > 
> > [TM] There is no reason why the flags document should be delayed.
> > Let's proceed with the reference to the RFC number.
> > 
> > >
> > > 9) <!-- [rfced] Please review the "Inclusive Language" portion of the online
> > Style Guide <https://urldefense.com/v3/__https://www.rfc-editor.org/styleguide/part2/*inclusive_language__;Iw!!MZ3Fw45to5uY!JQjsM3SadJmgep6JwmJachqnO73MJFLk3MGF0BekRpoXZWLepXWBrWvaaTKusmLBIh4lqIM01ApgRiBtzlQSoZAVCw$ >
> > and let us know if any changes are needed.
> > > -->
> > 
> > [TM] In my opinion there is no need for any changes in this context.
> > 
> > >
> > >
> > > Thank you.
> > >
> > > RFC Editor/mc/mf
> > >
> > > *****IMPORTANT*****
> > >
> > > Updated 2022/10/07
> > >
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> > >    https://urldefense.com/v3/__https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9326.html__;!!MZ3Fw45to5uY!JQjsM3SadJmgep6JwmJachqnO73MJFLk3MGF0BekRpoXZWLepXWBrWvaaTKusmLBIh4lqIM01ApgRiBtzlSQ-9fyuQ$ 
> > >    https://urldefense.com/v3/__https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9326.pdf__;!!MZ3Fw45to5uY!JQjsM3SadJmgep6JwmJachqnO73MJFLk3MGF0BekRpoXZWLepXWBrWvaaTKusmLBIh4lqIM01ApgRiBtzlSQUCmxjw$ 
> > >    https://urldefense.com/v3/__https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9326.txt__;!!MZ3Fw45to5uY!JQjsM3SadJmgep6JwmJachqnO73MJFLk3MGF0BekRpoXZWLepXWBrWvaaTKusmLBIh4lqIM01ApgRiBtzlSLru3XRA$ 
> > >
> > > Diff file of the text:
> > >    https://urldefense.com/v3/__https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9326-diff.html__;!!MZ3Fw45to5uY!JQjsM3SadJmgep6JwmJachqnO73MJFLk3MGF0BekRpoXZWLepXWBrWvaaTKusmLBIh4lqIM01ApgRiBtzlTcua81cQ$ 
> > >    https://urldefense.com/v3/__https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9326-rfcdiff.html__;!!MZ3Fw45to5uY!JQjsM3SadJmgep6JwmJachqnO73MJFLk3MGF0BekRpoXZWLepXWBrWvaaTKusmLBIh4lqIM01ApgRiBtzlSk46TSGQ$  (side by
> > > side)
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> > >
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> > >
> > > Please let us know if you have any questions.
> > >
> > > Thank you for your cooperation,
> > >
> > > RFC Editor
> > >
> > > --------------------------------------
> > > RFC9326 (draft-ietf-ippm-ioam-direct-export-11)
> > >
> > > Title            : In-situ OAM Direct Exporting
> > > Author(s)        : H. Song, B. Gafni, F. Brockners, S. Bhandari, T. Mizrahi
> > > WG Chair(s)      : Marcus Ihlar, Tommy Pauly
> > > Area Director(s) : Martin Duke, Zaheduzzaman Sarker
> > >
> > >