Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9326 <draft-ietf-ippm-ioam-direct-export-11> for your review

[[e-mail]]

Authors,

While reviewing this document during AUTH48, please resolve (as necessary) the following questions, which are also in the XML file.

1) <!-- [rfced] Please note that the title of the document has been updated as follows:

a) Abbreviations have been expanded per Section 3.6 of RFC 7322 ("RFC
Style Guide").

b) The hyphen in "In-situ" has been removed to be consistent with
recently published IOAM documents. Please review.

Original: 
In-situ OAM Direct Exporting 

Current: 
In Situ Operations, Administration, and Maintenance (IOAM) Direct
Exporting
--> 


2) <!-- [rfced] We had the following questions related to similar text in
     both the Abstract and Introduction:

Original (Abstract):
This document introduces a new IOAM option type (denoted
IOAM-Option-Type) called the Direct Export (DEX) Option-Type, which is
used as a trigger for IOAM data to be directly exported or locally
aggregated without being pushed into in-flight data packets.

Original (Introduction):
This document defines a new IOAM-Option-Type called the Direct Export
(DEX) Option-Type.  This Option-Type is used as a trigger for IOAM
nodes to locally aggregate and process IOAM data, and/or to export it
to a receiving entity (or entities).


a) We have updated mentions in the text above to use "IOAM Direct
Export (DEX) Option-Type" to exactly match its use at
https://www.iana.org/assignments/ioam/ioam.xhtml.  Please let us know
any objections and/or if similar changes should be made elsewhere in the document (specifically the IANA Considerations section?).

b) There is some difference in the description of how the DEX
Option-Type is used in the Intro and Abstract.  Please let us know
if/how these instances should be made consistent.

-->


3) <!-- [rfced] FYI: We changed "Direct EXporting" to "Direct Exporting" for consistency throughout the document. Please let us know of any objections.

Original: 
DEX: Direct EXporting

Current:
DEX: Direct Exporting 
-->


4) <!-- [rfced] FYI: We rearranged parts of this sentence and added more
     context (specifically to the content in parenthesis) for ease of the
     reader. Please let us know of any objections.

Original:
An IOAM encapsulating node configured to incorporate the DEX
Option-Type encapsulates (possibly a subset of) the packets it
forwards with the DEX Option-Type, and MAY export and/or collect the
requested IOAM data immediately.

Current:
An IOAM encapsulating node configured to incorporate the DEX
Option-Type encapsulates the packets (and possibly a subset of the
packets) it forwards with the DEX Option-Type and MAY export and/or
collect the requested IOAM data immediately.
-->


5) <!-- [rfced] Will readers know what "it" is referring to in this
     sentence?

Original:
Therefore, an IOAM encapsulating node that supports the DEX
Option-Type MUST support the ability to incorporate the DEX
Option-Type selectively into a subset of the packets that are
forwarded by it.

Perhaps:
Therefore, an IOAM encapsulating node that supports the DEX
Option-Type MUST support the ability to incorporate the DEX
Option-Type selectively into a subset of the packets that are
forwarded by the DEX Option-Type.
-->


6) <!-- [rfced] We suggest rephrasing and condensing this sentence, as it may be difficult to parse for some readers due to the number of adverbs. Would the suggested text change the original meaning of the sentence?

Original:
As mentioned above, the data can be locally collected, and optionally
can be aggregated and exported to a receiving entity, either
proactively or on-demand.

Perhaps:
As mentioned above, the data can be locally collected, aggregated, and
exported to a receiving entity proactively or on-demand.
-->


7) <!-- [rfced] FYI: In Section 3.2, we updated the terms "Optional
     fields", "Flow ID", and "Sequence Number" to fall under a nested
     definition list. Please confirm that this accurately describes
     the figure and let us know if there are any objections.
-->


8) <!--[rfced] FYI - I-D.ietf-ippm-ioam-flags is in AUTH48 state. We have
     updated the reference in this document to point to the RFC-to-be info
     assuming that document will be published before this one.  Please
     advise on how you would like to proceed in the event that
     I-D.ietf-ippm-ioam-flags does not complete AUTH48 prior to this
     doc (i.e., revert the reference to the I-D format or hold on
     publication of this document?).-->


9) <!-- [rfced] Please review the "Inclusive Language" portion of the online Style Guide <https://www.rfc-editor.org/styleguide/part2/#inclusive_language> and let us know if any changes are needed.  
-->    


Thank you.

RFC Editor/mc/mf

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--------------------------------------
RFC9326 (draft-ietf-ippm-ioam-direct-export-11)

Title            : In-situ OAM Direct Exporting
Author(s)        : H. Song, B. Gafni, F. Brockners, S. Bhandari, T. Mizrahi
WG Chair(s)      : Marcus Ihlar, Tommy Pauly
Area Director(s) : Martin Duke, Zaheduzzaman Sarker