Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9556 <draft-irtf-t2trg-iot-edge-10> for your review

[Alanna Paloma <[e-mail]>]

All,

With Eve’s approval, we have now received all necessary approvals and consider AUTH48 complete:
https://www.rfc-editor.org/auth48/rfc9556

Thank you for your attention and guidance during the AUTH48 process.
We will move this document forward in the publication process at this time.

RFC Editor/ap

> On Apr 8, 2024, at 2:56 AM, Eve Schooler <[e-mail]> wrote:
> 
> Hi All, 
> My sincere apologies for the long delay responding.
> I also approve the publication of this document!
> Thank you all for your efforts to get this document "to the finish line"!
> Much appreciated.
> Best regards, 
> Eve
> 
> Eve M. Schooler, PhD
> RAEng Visiting Professor of Sustainable Computing
> Department of Engineering Science
> University of Oxford, UK
> [phone]
> 
> On Thu, Apr 4, 2024 at 5:14 PM Alanna Paloma <[e-mail]> wrote:
> Hi Matthias,
> 
> We have noted your approval:
> https://www.rfc-editor.org/auth48/rfc9556
> 
> Once we’ve received Eve’s approval, we will move this document forward in the publication process.
> 
> Thank you,
> RFC Editor/ap
> 
> > On Apr 4, 2024, at 2:33 AM, Matthias Kovatsch <[e-mail]> wrote:
> > 
> > Dear Alanna
> > 
> > I hereby also approve the publication.
> > 
> > Kind regards,
> > Matthias
> > 
> >> -----Original Message-----
> >> From: Alanna Paloma <[e-mail]>
> >> Sent: Wednesday, April 3, 2024 5:14 PM
> >> To: Yong-Geun Hong <[e-mail]>
> >> Cc: Xavier De Foy <[e-mail]>; Jungha Hong
> >> <[e-mail]>; Ari Keränen <[e-mail]>; Colin Perkins
> >> <[e-mail]>; Matthias Kovatsch <[e-mail]>;
> >> [e-mail]; Kutscher, Dirk <[e-mail]>; rfc-editor@rfc-
> >> editor.org; [e-mail]; [e-mail]
> >> Subject: Re: AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9556 <draft-irtf-t2trg-iot-edge-10> for your
> >> review
> >> 
> >> Hi Yong-Geun,
> >> 
> >> You approval has been noted:
> >> https://www.rfc-editor.org/auth48/rfc9556
> >> 
> >> We will await approvals from Matthias and Eve prior to moving this document
> >> forward in the publication process.
> >> 
> >> Thank you,
> >> RFC Editor/ap
> >> 
> >>> On Apr 2, 2024, at 4:27 PM, Yong-Geun Hong <[e-mail]>
> >> wrote:
> >>> 
> >>> Dear Alanna Paloma.
> >>> 
> >>> Thanks for your efforts.
> >>> 
> >>> I approve the publication of this draft.
> >>> 
> >>> Best regards.
> >>> 
> >>> Yong-Geun.
> >>> 
> >>> 2024년 4월 2일 (화) 오전 9:06, Alanna Paloma <[e-mail]>님이
> >> 작성:
> >>> Hi Xavier,
> >>> 
> >>> Thank you for your reply. We’ve updated the files accordingly.
> >>> 
> >>> The files have been posted here (please refresh):
> >>> https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9556.txt
> >>> https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9556.pdf
> >>> https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9556.html
> >>> https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9556.xml
> >>> 
> >>> The relevant diff files are posted here:
> >>> https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9556-diff.html (comprehensive diff)
> >>> https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9556-auth48diff.html (all AUTH48
> >> changes)
> >>> https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9556-lastdiff.html (htmlwdiff diff
> >> between last version and this)
> >>> https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9556-lastrfcdiff.html (rfcdiff between
> >> last version and this)
> >>> 
> >>> We will await approvals from each party listed on the AUTH48 status page
> >> below prior to moving this document forward in the publication process.
> >>> 
> >>> For the AUTH48 status of this document, please see:
> >>> https://www.rfc-editor.org/auth48/rfc9556
> >>> 
> >>> Thank you,
> >>> RFC Editor/ap
> >>> 
> >>>> On Apr 1, 2024, at 6:57 AM, Xavier De Foy
> >> <[e-mail]> wrote:
> >>>> 
> >>>> Hi Alanna,
> >>>> 
> >>>> Here is my take on the use of "/" in the draft (if my co-authors agree)
> >>>> 
> >>>> Original => my suggestion (note: additional note for the editor)
> >>>> 
> >>>> 
> >>>> 2.1
> >>>> and/or => and/or
> >>>> 2.4
> >>>> and/or => and/or
> >>>> highly available/efficient => highly available and efficient
> >>>> audio/video => audio and/or video
> >>>> Artificial intelligence (AI) / machine learning (ML) systems => Artificial
> >> intelligence (AI) and machine learning (ML) systems
> >>>> 3.3
> >>>> and/or => and/or
> >>>> 4.2
> >>>> devices/sensors => devices and sensors
> >>>> remote/cloud => remote (e.g., cloud)
> >>>> remote/cloud => remote (e.g., cloud)
> >>>> IoT devices/computing nodes => The computing nodes
> >>>> 4.3
> >>>> network/compute/storage => network/compute/storage
> >>>> (note to the editor: actually, if using / here is a problem, possibly use
> >> "network, compute, and storage", but I find the resulting sentence hard to
> >> parse)
> >>>> 4.3.2
> >>>> multi-vendor/operator => multi-vendor and multi-operator
> >>>> 4.4.1
> >>>> compute/storage => compute and storage
> >>>> to/from => to or from
> >>>> distributed/peer-to-peer => distributed (e.g., peer-to-peer)
> >>>> 4.4.2
> >>>> stored/cached data => data stored or cached
> >>>> 4.4.3
> >>>> local/mobile => local or mobile
> >>>> 4.5.1
> >>>> edge/local => local (e.g., edge)
> >>>> functions/services => functions and services
> >>>> 4.5.2
> >>>> AI/ML => AI/ML (note: keep as is, this is a common contraction)
> >>>> 
> >>>> 
> >>>> Best Regards,
> >>>> Xavier.
> >>>> 
> >>>> -----Original Message-----
> >>>> From: Alanna Paloma <[e-mail]>
> >>>> Sent: Monday, March 25, 2024 2:26 PM
> >>>> To: Jungha Hong <[e-mail]>
> >>>> Cc: Ari Keränen <[e-mail]>; Colin Perkins
> >> <[e-mail]>; [e-mail]; Xavier De Foy
> >> <[e-mail]>; [e-mail];
> >> [e-mail]; Kutscher, Dirk <[e-mail]>; rfc-editor@rfc-
> >> editor.org; [e-mail]; [e-mail]
> >>>> Subject: Re: AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9556 <draft-irtf-t2trg-iot-edge-10> for your
> >> review
> >>>> 
> >>>> Hi Jungha,
> >>>> 
> >>>> Thank you for your reply. We have updated the files accordingly.
> >>>> 
> >>>> Please note that we have one remaining query:
> >>>>> ) Might it be helpful to the reader to clarify the slash in cases like the
> >> following (i.e., does it stand for "and", "or", or "and/or"?)?  Note: this appears
> >> in several places, the following is just an example.
> >>>>> 
> >>>>> Original:
> >>>>> The IoT gateway plays a common role in providing access to a
> >>>>> heterogeneous set of IoT devices/sensors,...
> >>>>> 
> >>>>> Perhaps:
> >>>>> The IoT gateway plays a common role in providing access to a
> >>>>> heterogeneous set of IoT devices and sensors,…
> >>>> 
> >>>> …
> >>>> The files have been posted here (please refresh):
> >>>> https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9556.txt
> >>>> https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9556.pdf
> >>>> https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9556.html
> >>>> https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9556.xml
> >>>> 
> >>>> The relevant diff files are posted here:
> >>>> https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9556-diff.html (comprehensive diff)
> >> https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9556-auth48diff.html (all AUTH48
> >> changes)  https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9556-lastdiff.html (htmlwdiff
> >> diff between last version and this)  https://www.rfc-
> >> editor.org/authors/rfc9556-lastrfcdiff.html (rfcdiff between last version and
> >> this)
> >>>> 
> >>>> For the AUTH48 status of this document, please see:
> >>>> https://www.rfc-editor.org/auth48/rfc9556
> >>>> 
> >>>> Thank you,
> >>>> RFC Editor/ap
> >>>> 
> >>>>> On Mar 22, 2024, at 9:48 AM, Jungha Hong <[e-mail]> wrote:
> >>>>> 
> >>>>> Hi,
> >>>>> 
> >>>>> Please find my answers inline with [JH].
> >>>>> 
> >>>>> 
> >>>>> -----Original Message-----
> >>>>> From: Alanna Paloma <[e-mail]>
> >>>>> Sent: Saturday, March 23, 2024 1:23 AM
> >>>>> To: Ari Keränen <[e-mail]>; Colin Perkins
> >>>>> <[e-mail]>; [e-mail]; [e-mail];
> >> Xavier
> >>>>> De Foy <Xavier.DeFoy=[e-mail]>;
> >>>>> [e-mail]; [e-mail]; Kutscher, Dirk
> >>>>> <[e-mail]>
> >>>>> Cc: [e-mail]; [e-mail];
> >>>>> [e-mail]
> >>>>> Subject: Re: AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9556 <draft-irtf-t2trg-iot-edge-10> for
> >>>>> your review
> >>>>> 
> >>>>> Authors, Ari, and Colin,
> >>>>> 
> >>>>> Thank you for your replies. We have updated the files accordingly. Please
> >> see below for our additional questions.
> >>>>> 
> >>>>>> The text in sec 2.4 “Self-driving car”says :
> >>>>>> such as high-resolution cameras, radars, Light Detection and
> >>>>>> Ranging (LiDAR), sonar sensors, and GPS systems  Since we say “radars”
> >> should we also say “LiDARs” or change “radars” to “radar”?
> >>>>> 
> >>>>> ) Instead of pluralizing “LiDAR”, may we update it to “LiDAR systems”?
> >>>>> 
> >>>>> Perhaps:
> >>>>> With a multitude of sensors, such as high-resolution
> >>>>> cameras, radars, Light Detection and Ranging (LiDAR) systems, sonar
> >>>>> sensors, and GPS systems, autonomous vehicles generate vast
> >>>>> amounts of real-time data.
> >>>>> 
> >>>>> [JH] “LiDAR systems” is better.
> >>>>> 
> >>>>> ) Might it be helpful to the reader to clarify the slash in cases like the
> >> following (i.e., does it stand for "and", "or", or "and/or"?)?  Note: this appears
> >> in several places, the following is just an example.
> >>>>> 
> >>>>> Original:
> >>>>> The IoT gateway plays a common role in providing access to a
> >>>>> heterogeneous set of IoT devices/sensors,...
> >>>>> 
> >>>>> Perhaps:
> >>>>> The IoT gateway plays a common role in providing access to a
> >>>>> heterogeneous set of IoT devices and sensors,…
> >>>>> 
> >>>>> 
> >>>>>>> 6) <!--[rfced] Should "device" be updated to "devise" or is there
> >>>>>>> another way to rephrase this sentence?
> >>>>>>> Original:
> >>>>>>> Conversely, a cloud back-end might want to device data even if it is
> >>>>>>> currently asleep.
> >>>>>>> Perhaps:
> >>>>>>> Conversely, a cloud backend might want to access device data even if
> >>>>>>> the device is currently asleep.
> >>>>>>> -->
> >>>>>> Good catch – we meant the second variant.
> >>>>> 
> >>>>> ) Please clarify, should the sentence be updated to use “devise” or should
> >> it be updated to the Perhaps text?
> >>>>> 
> >>>>> [JH] Please update it to the Perhaps text.
> >>>>> 
> >>>>> 
> >>>>>>> 20) <!--[rfced] Throughout the document, there were certain places
> >>>>>>> we may have expected a citation. Please review cases like the
> >>>>>>> following (there may be more, just examples):
> >>>>>>> As the number of people working on farming has been decreasing over
> >>>>>>> time,...
> >>>>>>> *Smart Construction*
> >>>>>>> Safety is critical at construction sites. Every year, many
> >>>>>>> construction workers lose their lives because of falls, collisions,
> >>>>>>> electric shocks, and other accidents.
> >>>>>>> Policy makers have begun to provide frameworks that limit the usage
> >>>>>>> of personal data and impose strict requirements on data controllers
> >>>>>>> and processors.
> >>>>>>> -->
> >>>>>> Good point – I suggest that we (authors) go through the document and
> >> add references to such statements.
> >>>>> 
> >>>>> ) Please note that we still await word regarding where citations should be
> >> added.
> >>>>> 
> >>>>> [JH] I have added 8 citations as follows:
> >>>>> 
> >>>>> *Smart Factory*
> >>>>> The use of edge computing in a smart factory [Jamilu] can reduce the
> >>>>> cost of network and storage resources by reducing the communication
> >>>>> load to the central data center or server.
> >>>>> 
> >>>>> [Jamilu] Argungu, J., Idina, M., Chalawa, U., Ummar, M., Bello, S., Arzika, I.,
> >> and Mala, B.,
> >>>>>  "A Survey of Edge Computing Approaches in Smart Factory", International
> >> Journal of Advanced
> >>>>>         Research in Computer and Communication Engineering, Vol. 12, Issue
> >> 9, September 2023.
> >>>>> 
> >>>>> *Smart Grid*
> >>>>> In future smart city scenarios, the Smart Grid will be critical in
> >>>>> ensuring highly available/efficient energy control in city-wide
> >>>>> electricity management [Mehmood].
> >>>>> 
> >>>>> [Mehmood] Mehmood, M., Oad, A., Abrar, M., Munir, H., Hasan, S.,
> >> Muqeet, H., and Golilarz, N.,
> >>>>>          "Edge computing for IoT-enabled smart grid", Security and
> >> Communication Networks, Vol. 2021,
> >>>>>          Article ID 5524025, https://doi.org/10.1155/2021/5524025.
> >>>>> 
> >>>>> *Smart Agriculture*
> >>>>> In existing farms, simple systems such as management according to
> >>>>> temperature and humidity can be easily and inexpensively implemented
> >>>>> using IoT technology [Tanveer].
> >>>>> 
> >>>>> As the number of people working on farming has been decreasing over
> >>>>> time, increasing automation enabled by edge computing can be a driving
> >>>>> force for future smart agriculture [OGrady].
> >>>>> 
> >>>>> [Tanveer] Tanveer, S., Sree, N., Bhavana, B., and Varsha, D., "Smart
> >> Agriculture System using IoT",
> >>>>>          2022 IEEE World Conference on Applied Intelligence and Computing
> >> (AIC), Sonbhadra, India, 2022,
> >>>>>          pp. 482-486, doi: 10.1109/AIC55036.2022.9848948.
> >>>>> 
> >>>>> [OGrady] O'Grady, M., Langton, D., and O'Hare, G., "Edge computing: A
> >> tractable model for smart agriculture?",
> >>>>>         Artificial Intelligence in Agriculture, Vol. 3, September 2019, Pages
> >> 42-51, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.aiia.2019.12.001.
> >>>>> 
> >>>>> *Smart Construction*
> >>>>> Safety is critical at construction sites. Every year, many
> >>>>> construction workers lose their lives because of falls, collisions,
> >>>>> electric shocks, and other accidents [BigRentz].
> >>>>> 
> >>>>> Using edge computing[Yue], data generated at the construction site can
> >>>>> be processed and analyzed on an edge server located within or near the
> >>>>> site.
> >>>>> 
> >>>>> [BigRentz] BigRentz, "41 Construction Safety Statistics for 2024",
> >> https://www.bigrentz.com/blog/construction-safety-statistics.
> >>>>> 
> >>>>> [Yue] Yue, Q.,Mu, S., Zhang, L., Wang, Z., Zhang, Z., Zhang, X., Wang, Y.,
> >> and Miao, Z.,
> >>>>>     "Assisting Smart Construction With Reliable Edge Computing
> >> Technology", Frontiers in Energy Research, Sec. Smart Grids,
> >>>>>      Vol. 10, 2022, https://doi.org/10.3389/fenrg.2022.900298.
> >>>>> 
> >>>>> *Self-Driving Car*
> >>>>> Edge computing plays a crucial role in safety-focused self-driving car
> >> systems [Badjie].
> >>>>> 
> >>>>> [Badjie] The Future of Autonomous Driving Systems with Edge Computing,
> >>>>>         https://medium.com/@bakarykumba1996/the-future-of-
> >> autonomous-driving-systems-with-edge-computing-8c919597c4ee.
> >>>>> 
> >>>>> *Digital Twin*
> >>>>> Decision makers can use digital twins to test and validate different
> >>>>> strategies, identify inefficiencies, and optimize Performance [CertMagic].
> >>>>> 
> >>>>> [CertMagic] CertMagic, "Digital Twin Technology: Simulating Real-World
> >> Scenarios for Enhanced Decision Making",
> >>>>>             https://certmagic.medium.com/digital-twin-technology-
> >> simulating-real-world-scenarios-for-enhanced-decision-making-8844c51e856d.
> >>>>> 
> >>>>> 
> >>>>> ---
> >>>>> The files have been posted here (please refresh):
> >>>>> https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9556.txt
> >>>>> https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9556.pdf
> >>>>> https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9556.html
> >>>>> https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9556.xml
> >>>>> 
> >>>>> The relevant diff files are posted here:
> >>>>> https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9556-diff.html (comprehensive
> >>>>> diff)  https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9556-auth48diff.html (all
> >>>>> AUTH48 changes)
> >>>>> https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9556-lastdiff.html (htmlwdiff
> >>>>> diff between last version and this)
> >>>>> https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9556-lastrfcdiff.html (rfcdiff
> >>>>> between last version and this)
> >>>>> 
> >>>>> For the AUTH48 status of this document, please see:
> >>>>> https://www.rfc-editor.org/auth48/rfc9556
> >>>>> 
> >>>>> We will await approvals from each party listed on the AUTH48 status page
> >> below prior to moving this document forward in the publication process.
> >>>>> 
> >>>>> Thank you,
> >>>>> RFC Editor/ap
> >>>>> 
> >>>>>> On Mar 22, 2024, at 7:51 AM, Ari Keränen <[e-mail]>
> >> wrote:
> >>>>>> 
> >>>>>> One small thing that I noticed while reading the diff (sending to retracted
> >> audience since it’s really nitty). The text in sec 2.4 “Self-driving car”says :
> >>>>>> such as high-resolution cameras, radars, Light Detection and
> >>>>>> Ranging (LiDAR), sonar sensors, and GPS systems  Since we say “radars”
> >> should we also say “LiDARs” or change “radars” to “radar”?
> >>>>>> Cheers,
> >>>>>> Ari
> >>>>>> From: irsg <[e-mail]> on behalf of Ari Keränen
> >>>>>> <ari.keranen=[e-mail]>
> >>>>>> Date: Friday, 22. March 2024 at 16.35
> >>>>>> To: Alanna Paloma <[e-mail]>, Xavier De Foy
> >>>>>> <Xavier.DeFoy=[e-mail]>, Kutscher, Dirk
> >>>>>> <[e-mail]>, [e-mail]
> >>>>>> <[e-mail]>
> >>>>>> Cc: [e-mail] <[e-mail]>,
> >>>>>> [e-mail] <[e-mail]>, [e-mail] <[e-mail]>,
> >>>>>> [e-mail] <[e-mail]>, [e-mail]
> >>>>>> <[e-mail]>
> >>>>>> Subject: Re: [irsg] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9556
> >>>>>> <draft-irtf-t2trg-iot-edge-10> for your review Hi Authors & Alanna,
> >>>>>> I believe the “DDS” acronym should be actually “Data Distribution
> >> Service” instead of “Discovery Domain Set”.
> >>>>>> Otherwise the updates as discussed below look good to me.
> >>>>>> Cheers,
> >>>>>> Ari (as the doc shepherd)
> >>>>>> From: Alanna Paloma <[e-mail]>
> >>>>>> Date: Thursday, 21. March 2024 at 20.49
> >>>>>> To: Xavier De Foy <Xavier.DeFoy=[e-mail]>,
> >>>>>> Kutscher, Dirk <[e-mail]>, [e-mail]
> >>>>>> <[e-mail]>
> >>>>>> Cc: [e-mail] <[e-mail]>,
> >>>>>> [e-mail] <[e-mail]>, [e-mail]
> >>>>>> <[e-mail]>, [e-mail]
> >> <[e-mail]>,
> >>>>>> [e-mail] <[e-mail]>, Ari Keränen
> >>>>>> <[e-mail]>, [e-mail]
> >>>>>> <[e-mail]>
> >>>>>> Subject: Re: AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9556 <draft-irtf-t2trg-iot-edge-10>
> >>>>>> for your review Authors,
> >>>>>> 
> >>>>>> Thank you for your replies.  We have updated the files as requested. See
> >> below for additional questions and comments.
> >>>>>> 
> >>>>>> ) Yong-Geun - In RFC 9453, your name appears as "Y-G.” in the header,
> >> and in this document, it appears as "Y.-G.” May we update this document to
> >> remove the period after “Y” to reflect RFC 9453?
> >>>>>> 
> >>>>>> ) Might it be helpful to the reader to clarify the slash in cases like the
> >> following (i.e., does it stand for "and", "or", or "and/or"?)?  Note: this appears
> >> in several places, the following is just an example.
> >>>>>> 
> >>>>>> Original:
> >>>>>> The IoT gateway plays a common role in providing access to a
> >>>>>> heterogeneous set of IoT devices/sensors,...
> >>>>>> 
> >>>>>> Perhaps:
> >>>>>> The IoT gateway plays a common role in providing access to a
> >>>>>> heterogeneous set of IoT devices and sensors,…
> >>>>>> 
> >>>>>>>> 6) <!--[rfced] Should "device" be updated to "devise" or is there
> >>>>>>>> another way to rephrase this sentence?
> >>>>>>>> Original:
> >>>>>>>> Conversely, a cloud back-end might want to device data even if it
> >>>>>>>> is currently asleep.
> >>>>>>>> Perhaps:
> >>>>>>>> Conversely, a cloud backend might want to access device data even
> >>>>>>>> if the device is currently asleep.
> >>>>>>>> -->
> >>>>>>> Good catch – we meant the second variant.
> >>>>>> 
> >>>>>> ) Please clarify, should the sentence be updated to use “devise” or should
> >> it be updated to the Perhaps text?
> >>>>>> 
> >>>>>>>> 9) <!--[rfced] The SVG figures in Section 4.2 have their width and
> >>>>>>>> height specified, which will make the artwork not scale. Please
> >>>>>>>> consider whether scaling should be enabled. Scaling will allow the
> >>>>>>>> figure to be resized when it is viewed on a mobile device; however,
> >>>>>>>> there may be aesthetic trade-offs (e.g., image may appear too large
> >>>>>>>> on a desktop screen or different figures may scale differently
> >>>>>>>> based on their relative sizes). Please review the HTML and PDF
> >>>>>>>> outputs and let us know how to proceed.
> >>>>>>>> -->
> >>>>>>> The figure should probably be scaled so that the font size in the figure
> >> corresponds to the one in the text and so that the figure is not wider than the
> >> text width. What is a good way to achieve this in a portable fashion?
> >>>>>> 
> >>>>>> ) We have removed the width and height attributes from both SVG
> >> figures in order for them to scale. Please see the HTML and PDF outputs.
> >>>>>> 
> >>>>>>>> 20) <!--[rfced] Throughout the document, there were certain places
> >>>>>>>> we may have expected a citation. Please review cases like the
> >>>>>>>> following (there may be more, just examples):
> >>>>>>>> As the number of people working on farming has been decreasing over
> >>>>>>>> time,...
> >>>>>>>> *Smart Construction*
> >>>>>>>> Safety is critical at construction sites. Every year, many
> >>>>>>>> construction workers lose their lives because of falls, collisions,
> >>>>>>>> electric shocks, and other accidents.
> >>>>>>>> Policy makers have begun to provide frameworks that limit the usage
> >>>>>>>> of personal data and impose strict requirements on data controllers
> >>>>>>>> and processors.
> >>>>>>>> -->
> >>>>>>> Good point – I suggest that we (authors) go through the document and
> >> add references to such statements.
> >>>>>> 
> >>>>>> ) Please note that we still await word regarding where citations should be
> >> added.
> >>>>>> ---
> >>>>>> The files have been posted here (please refresh):
> >>>>>> 
> >>>>>> https://www/.
> >>>>>> rfc-
> >> editor.org%2Fauthors%2Frfc9556.xml&data=05%7C02%7Cari.keranen%40e
> >>>>>> r
> >>>>>> 
> >> icsson.com%7Ce84ce8fc30894c03e9f908dc49d78462%7C92e84cebfbfd47abbe
> >> 520
> >>>>>> 8
> >>>>>> 
> >> 0c6b87953f%7C0%7C0%7C638466437584472449%7CUnknown%7CTWFpbGZs
> >> b3d8eyJWI
> >>>>>> j
> >>>>>> 
> >> oiMC4wLjAwMDAiLCJQIjoiV2luMzIiLCJBTiI6Ik1haWwiLCJXVCI6Mn0%3D%7C0%
> >> 7C%7
> >>>>>> C
> >>>>>> 
> >> %7C&sdata=UvGwKQAJJYocuyF77hssONfQTP6o9OV0UprTpPbkYVc%3D&reserv
> >> ed=0
> >>>>>> 
> >>>>>> https://www/.
> >>>>>> rfc-
> >> editor.org%2Fauthors%2Frfc9556.txt&data=05%7C02%7Cari.keranen%40e
> >>>>>> r
> >>>>>> 
> >> icsson.com%7Ce84ce8fc30894c03e9f908dc49d78462%7C92e84cebfbfd47abbe
> >> 520
> >>>>>> 8
> >>>>>> 
> >> 0c6b87953f%7C0%7C0%7C638466437584480911%7CUnknown%7CTWFpbGZs
> >> b3d8eyJWI
> >>>>>> j
> >>>>>> 
> >> oiMC4wLjAwMDAiLCJQIjoiV2luMzIiLCJBTiI6Ik1haWwiLCJXVCI6Mn0%3D%7C0%
> >> 7C%7
> >>>>>> C
> >>>>>> 
> >> %7C&sdata=U2KKPmrb3or9wAvOffxi%2BymEVRnYJLPV1v4tPrL1ZNc%3D&reser
> >> ved=0
> >>>>>> 
> >>>>>> https://www/.
> >>>>>> rfc-
> >> editor.org%2Fauthors%2Frfc9556.html&data=05%7C02%7Cari.keranen%40
> >>>>>> e
> >>>>>> 
> >> ricsson.com%7Ce84ce8fc30894c03e9f908dc49d78462%7C92e84cebfbfd47abb
> >> e52
> >>>>>> 0
> >>>>>> 
> >> 80c6b87953f%7C0%7C0%7C638466437584486868%7CUnknown%7CTWFpbG
> >> Zsb3d8eyJW
> >>>>>> I
> >>>>>> 
> >> joiMC4wLjAwMDAiLCJQIjoiV2luMzIiLCJBTiI6Ik1haWwiLCJXVCI6Mn0%3D%7C0
> >> %7C%
> >>>>>> 7
> >>>>>> 
> >> C%7C&sdata=TlBLeSFoWY8AUuikG6NWi0%2FP3l126rr4lRqvlx3m5zo%3D&rese
> >> rved=
> >>>>>> 0
> >>>>>> 
> >>>>>> https://www/.
> >>>>>> rfc-
> >> editor.org%2Fauthors%2Frfc9556.pdf&data=05%7C02%7Cari.keranen%40e
> >>>>>> r
> >>>>>> 
> >> icsson.com%7Ce84ce8fc30894c03e9f908dc49d78462%7C92e84cebfbfd47abbe
> >> 520
> >>>>>> 8
> >>>>>> 
> >> 0c6b87953f%7C0%7C0%7C638466437584491751%7CUnknown%7CTWFpbGZs
> >> b3d8eyJWI
> >>>>>> j
> >>>>>> 
> >> oiMC4wLjAwMDAiLCJQIjoiV2luMzIiLCJBTiI6Ik1haWwiLCJXVCI6Mn0%3D%7C0%
> >> 7C%7
> >>>>>> C
> >>>>>> 
> >> %7C&sdata=aC7CtbDFryg%2FnYqlqiov%2FH777F7T4p2iW%2BSS4stxoqM%3D
> >> &reserv
> >>>>>> e
> >>>>>> d=0
> >>>>>> 
> >>>>>> The relevant diff files have been posted here:
> >>>>>> 
> >>>>>> https://www/.
> >>>>>> rfc-editor.org%2Fauthors%2Frfc9556-
> >> diff.html&data=05%7C02%7Cari.keran
> >>>>>> e
> >>>>>> 
> >> n%40ericsson.com%7Ce84ce8fc30894c03e9f908dc49d78462%7C92e84cebfbfd
> >> 47a
> >>>>>> b
> >>>>>> 
> >> be52080c6b87953f%7C0%7C0%7C638466437584496232%7CUnknown%7CT
> >> WFpbGZsb3d
> >>>>>> 8
> >>>>>> 
> >> eyJWIjoiMC4wLjAwMDAiLCJQIjoiV2luMzIiLCJBTiI6Ik1haWwiLCJXVCI6Mn0%3D
> >> %7C
> >>>>>> 0
> >>>>>> 
> >> %7C%7C%7C&sdata=qXsDiPUJDQjTJEf2WU3c%2FUH29Klagl%2BFBNUHMQ2H
> >> cNU%3D&re
> >>>>>> s
> >>>>>> erved=0 (comprehensive diff)
> >>>>>> 
> >>>>>> https://www/.
> >>>>>> rfc-editor.org%2Fauthors%2Frfc9556-
> >> auth48diff.html&data=05%7C02%7Cari.
> >>>>>> 
> >> keranen%40ericsson.com%7Ce84ce8fc30894c03e9f908dc49d78462%7C92e84
> >> cebf
> >>>>>> b
> >>>>>> 
> >> fd47abbe52080c6b87953f%7C0%7C0%7C638466437584500657%7CUnknown
> >> %7CTWFpb
> >>>>>> G
> >>>>>> 
> >> Zsb3d8eyJWIjoiMC4wLjAwMDAiLCJQIjoiV2luMzIiLCJBTiI6Ik1haWwiLCJXVCI6Mn
> >> 0
> >>>>>> %
> >>>>>> 
> >> 3D%7C0%7C%7C%7C&sdata=tR25pGpGhLaLxEy9A3R9wUNrCrfwv16bOz%2BZI
> >> yGEZrI%3
> >>>>>> D
> >>>>>> &reserved=0 (AUTH48 changes)
> >>>>>> 
> >>>>>> Please review the document carefully and contact us with any further
> >> updates you may have.  Note that we do not make changes once a document is
> >> published as an RFC.
> >>>>>> 
> >>>>>> We will await approvals from each party listed on the AUTH48 status
> >> page below prior to moving this document forward in the publication process.
> >>>>>> 
> >>>>>> For the AUTH48 status of this document, please see:
> >>>>>> 
> >>>>>> https://www/.
> >>>>>> rfc-
> >> editor.org%2Fauth48%2Frfc9556&data=05%7C02%7Cari.keranen%40ericss
> >>>>>> o
> >>>>>> 
> >> n.com%7Ce84ce8fc30894c03e9f908dc49d78462%7C92e84cebfbfd47abbe5208
> >> 0c6b
> >>>>>> 8
> >>>>>> 
> >> 7953f%7C0%7C0%7C638466437584505133%7CUnknown%7CTWFpbGZsb3d8
> >> eyJWIjoiMC
> >>>>>> 4
> >>>>>> 
> >> wLjAwMDAiLCJQIjoiV2luMzIiLCJBTiI6Ik1haWwiLCJXVCI6Mn0%3D%7C0%7C%7
> >> C%7C&
> >>>>>> s
> >>>>>> 
> >> data=kzFEwCnqIAUny0o13ijF5OqnFQ9N99%2F%2Fz4YshWSMh1s%3D&reserve
> >> d=0
> >>>>>> 
> >>>>>> Thank you,
> >>>>>> RFC Editor/ap
> >>>>>> 
> >>>>>>> On Mar 20, 2024, at 4:13 PM, Xavier De Foy
> >> <Xavier.DeFoy=[e-mail]> wrote:
> >>>>>>> 
> >>>>>>> Hi,
> >>>>>>> Thank you very much for the review and updates. I generally agree with
> >> Dirks replies and added a few minor comments with the marker [xdf] below. I
> >> believe at this stage there are a couple of open items (one about the figure,
> >> and one about possibly adding references).  About the figures, I don’t have a
> >> strong opinion (the current figures, which I guess are still not scaled, look fine
> >> to me on PC and phone, and I don’t know how to test with scaling). For the
> >> second point I’ll check with the editor of the use case section.
> >>>>>>> Best Regards,
> >>>>>>> Xavier.
> >>>>>>> From: Dirk Kutscher <[e-mail]>
> >>>>>>> Sent: Tuesday, March 19, 2024 10:43 AM
> >>>>>>> To: [e-mail]
> >>>>>>> Cc: [e-mail]; [e-mail]; Xavier De Foy
> >>>>>>> <[e-mail]>; [e-mail];
> >>>>>>> [e-mail]; [e-mail]; [e-mail];
> >>>>>>> [e-mail]
> >>>>>>> Subject: Re: AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9556 <draft-irtf-t2trg-iot-edge-10>
> >>>>>>> for your review  Hello, many thanks for the careful review and the
> >>>>>>> questions.
> >>>>>>> Some answers inline:
> >>>>>>> 1) <!-- [rfced] Please note that the title of the document has been
> >>>>>>> updated as follows. Abbreviations have been expanded per Section
> >>>>>>> 3.6 of RFC 7322 ("RFC Style Guide"). Please review.
> >>>>>>> Original:
> >>>>>>> IoT Edge Challenges and Functions
> >>>>>>> Current:
> >>>>>>> Internet of Things (IoT) Edge Challenges and Functions
> >>>>>>> -->
> >>>>>>> ACK
> >>>>>>> 2) <!--[rfced] Dirk and Matthias: Is there a "short name" we could
> >>>>>>> use for your organizations in the header?--> For Dirk: HKUST(GZ)
> >>>>>>> 3) <!-- [rfced] Please insert any keywords (beyond those that appear
> >>>>>>> in the title) for use on https://www.rfc-editor.org/search. -->
> >>>>>>>  •
> >>>>>>> in-network computing
> >>>>>>>  • in network caching
> >>>>>>>  • in network storage
> >>>>>>> 
> >>>>>>> 4) <!--[rfced] To help with longevity, we have updated uses of
> >>>>>>> "currently", "today" and the like to say "at the time of writing".
> >>>>>>> Please let us know any objections.--> ACK
> >>>>>>> 5) <!--[rfced] Is the meaning of this sentence that IoT technology
> >>>>>>> is being applied in more types of domains? Or that the applications
> >>>>>>> listed are more demanding than other domains? (That is, is the
> >>>>>>> healthcare domain itself more demanding or is there some application
> >>>>>>> inside the healthcare domain that is more demanding?)
> >>>>>>> Original:
> >>>>>>> IoT technology is used with increasingly demanding applications, for
> >>>>>>> example, in industrial, automotive and healthcare domains, leading
> >>>>>>> to new challenges.
> >>>>>>> Perhpas A:
> >>>>>>> IoT technology is used with increasingly demanding applications in
> >>>>>>> domains such as industrial, automotive, and healthcare, which leads
> >>>>>>> to new challenges.
> >>>>>>> Perhaps B:
> >>>>>>> IoT technology is used with increasingly demanding applications, for
> >>>>>>> example, the industrial, automotive, and healthcare domains, leading
> >>>>>>> to new challenges.
> >>>>>>> -->
> >>>>>>> Variant A sounds good.
> >>>>>>> 6) <!--[rfced] Should "device" be updated to "devise" or is there
> >>>>>>> another way to rephrase this sentence?
> >>>>>>> Original:
> >>>>>>> Conversely, a cloud back-end might want to device data even if it is
> >>>>>>> currently asleep.
> >>>>>>> Perhaps:
> >>>>>>> Conversely, a cloud backend might want to access device data even if
> >>>>>>> the device is currently asleep.
> >>>>>>> -->
> >>>>>>> Good catch – we meant the second variant.
> >>>>>>> 7) <!--[rfced] The following three sentences use "typically". We
> >>>>>>> will update to use another word to reduce redundancy unless we hear
> >>>>>>> objection.
> >>>>>>> Original:
> >>>>>>> The service and application life-cycle is typically using an
> >>>>>>> NFV-like management and orchestration model.
> >>>>>>> The platform typically enables advertising or consuming services
> >>>>>>> hosted on the platform (e.g., the Mp1 interface in ETSI MEC supports
> >>>>>>> service discovery and communication), and enables communication with
> >>>>>>> local and remote endpoints (e.g., message routing function in IoT
> >>>>>>> gateways). The platform is typically extensible to edge applications
> >>>>>>> because it can advertise a service that other edge applications can
> >>>>>>> consume.
> >>>>>>> Perhaps:
> >>>>>>> Typically, the service and application life cycle is using an
> >>>>>>> NFV-like management and orchestration model.
> >>>>>>> The platform generally enables advertising or consuming services
> >>>>>>> hosted on the platform (e.g., the Mp1 interface in ETSI MEC supports
> >>>>>>> service discovery and communication), and enables communication with
> >>>>>>> local and remote endpoints (e.g., message routing function in IoT
> >>>>>>> gateways). The platform is usually extensible to edge applications
> >>>>>>> because it can advertise a service that other edge applications can
> >>>>>>> consume.
> >>>>>>> -->
> >>>>>>> Yes, thank you.
> >>>>>>> 8) <!--[rfced] Please review the following questions related to this text:
> >>>>>>> a) We are having trouble parsing "the list associated logical
> >>>>>>> functions". Is "list" intended to be a noun or a verb?
> >>>>>>> b) The placement of "in this section" is somewhat jarring (and makes
> >>>>>>> two introductory phrases in the sentence). May we update as follows?
> >>>>>>> Original:
> >>>>>>> Although there are many approaches to edge computing, in this
> >>>>>>> section, we attempt to lay out a general model and the list
> >>>>>>> associated logical functions.
> >>>>>>> Perhaps A (list is a noun):
> >>>>>>> Although there are many approaches to edge computing, this section
> >>>>>>> lays out an attempt at a general model and the list of associated
> >>>>>>> logical functions.
> >>>>>>> Perhaps B (list is a verb):
> >>>>>>> Although there are many approaches to edge computing, this sections
> >>>>>>> lays out an attempt at a general model and lists associated logical
> >>>>>>> functions.
> >>>>>>> -->
> >>>>>>> Variant B sounds good.
> >>>>>>> 9) <!--[rfced] The SVG figures in Section 4.2 have their width and
> >>>>>>> height specified, which will make the artwork not scale. Please
> >>>>>>> consider whether scaling should be enabled. Scaling will allow the
> >>>>>>> figure to be resized when it is viewed on a mobile device; however,
> >>>>>>> there may be aesthetic trade-offs (e.g., image may appear too large
> >>>>>>> on a desktop screen or different figures may scale differently based
> >>>>>>> on their relative sizes). Please review the HTML and PDF outputs and
> >>>>>>> let us know how to proceed.
> >>>>>>> -->
> >>>>>>> The figure should probably be scaled so that the font size in the figure
> >> corresponds to the one in the text and so that the figure is not wider than the
> >> text width. What is a good way to achieve this in a portable fashion?
> >>>>>>> [xdf] I don’t have a strong opinion on this, but after checking the pdf
> >> and html links you provide at the end of this email, on a laptop and on a phone,
> >> the 2 figures look fine as they are right now.
> >>>>>>> 10) <!--[rfced] In the following text, how does the last clause
> >>>>>>> relate to the rest of the sentence? If our suggested rephrase does
> >>>>>>> not correctly capture your intent, please let us know how to
> >>>>>>> rephrase.
> >>>>>>> Original:
> >>>>>>> In a distributed image processing application, some image processing
> >>>>>>> functions can be similarly executed at the edge or in the cloud,
> >>>>>>> while preprocessing, which helps limiting the amount of uploaded
> >>>>>>> data, is performed by the IoT device.
> >>>>>>> Perhaps:
> >>>>>>> Similarly, in a distributed image processing application, some image
> >>>>>>> processing functions can be executed at the edge or in the cloud,
> >>>>>>> which helps with limiting the amount of uploaded data to be
> >>>>>>> performed by the IoT device.
> >>>>>>> -->
> >>>>>>> How about this:
> >>>>>>> Similarly, in a distributed image processing application, some image
> >>>>>>> processing functions can be executed at the edge or in the cloud. To
> >> limit the amount of data to be uploaded to central cloud functions, IoT edge
> >> devices may pre-process data.
> >>>>>>> 11) <!--[rfced] Should "IRTF attendees" be further clarified? Is
> >>>>>>> this a particular meeting? Participants of all Research Groups?--> I
> >>>>>>> suggest "participants of T2TRG meetings".
> >>>>>>> 12) <!--[rfced] To avoid the awkward readability of both "used" and
> >>>>>>> "using" in the same sentence, may we make the following update?
> >>>>>>> Original:
> >>>>>>> Broker-based solutions can be used, for example, using an IoT
> >>>>>>> gateway as a broker to discover IoT resources.
> >>>>>>> Perhaps:
> >>>>>>> Broker-based solutions can be implemented; an example would be using
> >>>>>>> an IoT gateway as a broker to discover IoT resources.
> >>>>>>> -->
> >>>>>>> How about:
> >>>>>>> "In a broker-based system, an IoT gateway can act as a broker to
> >> discover IoT resources."
> >>>>>>> 13) <!--[rfced] Please review our update to "in replacement or
> >> complement"
> >>>>>>> and let us know if it does not capture your intended meaning.
> >>>>>>> Original:
> >>>>>>> More decentralized solutions can also be used in replacement or
> >>>>>>> complement, for example, CoAP enables multicast discovery of an IoT
> >>>>>>> device, and CoAP service discovery enables obtaining a list of
> >>>>>>> resources made available by this device [RFC7252].
> >>>>>>> Current:
> >>>>>>> More decentralized solutions can also be used in replacement of or
> >>>>>>> in complement to the broker-based solutions; for example, CoAP
> >>>>>>> enables multicast discovery of an IoT device and CoAP service
> >>>>>>> discovery enables one to obtain a list of resources made available
> >>>>>>> by this device [RFC7252].
> >>>>>>> -->
> >>>>>>> Yes, much better.
> >>>>>>> 14) <!--[rfced] Please review our update to the following text to
> >>>>>>> ensure we've correctly captured your intended meaning. Because this
> >>>>>>> text includes an example within an example and both are within a
> >>>>>>> list, please review carefully.
> >>>>>>> Original:
> >>>>>>> * Adapting cloud management platforms to the edge, to account for
> >>>>>>> its distributed nature, e.g., using Conflict-free Replicated Data
> >>>>>>> Types (CRDT) [Jeffery], heterogeneity and customization, e.g., using
> >>>>>>> intent-based management mechanisms [Cao], and limited resources.
> >>>>>>> Current:
> >>>>>>> * Adapting cloud management platforms to the edge to account for its
> >>>>>>> distributed nature, e.g., using Conflict-free Replicated Data Types
> >>>>>>> (CRDTs) [Jeffery], heterogeneity and customization (e.g., using
> >>>>>>> intent-based management mechanisms [Cao]), and limited resources
> >>>>>>> -->
> >>>>>>> Thanks for spotting this. This sentence seems problematic for a couple
> >> of reasons. The examples are quite specific. If co-authors and our shepherd
> >> agree, we could simplify as follows:
> >>>>>>> Adapting cloud management platforms to the edge to account for its
> >> distributed nature, heterogeneity, need for customization, and limited
> >> resources.
> >>>>>>> [xdf] sounds good to me. I would propose keeping the references, by
> >> adding a sentence after the one proposed by Dirk. Something like this (if co-
> >> authors and shepherd agree):
> >>>>>>> OLD:
> >>>>>>> * Adapting cloud management platforms to the edge, to account for
> >>>>>>> its distributed nature, e.g., using Conflict-free Replicated Data
> >>>>>>> Types (CRDT) [Jeffery], heterogeneity and customization, e.g., using
> >>>>>>> intent-based management mechanisms [Cao], and limited resources.
> >>>>>>> NEW:
> >>>>>>> * Adapting cloud management platforms to the edge to account for its
> >> distributed nature, heterogeneity, need for customization, and limited
> >> resources. For example, using Conflict-free Replicated Data Types (CRDTs)
> >> [Jeffery] or intent-based management mechanisms [Cao].
> >>>>>>> 15) <!--[rfced] How can we break this run-on sentence up for the
> >> reader?
> >>>>>>> Original:
> >>>>>>> * (Computation placement) Selecting, in a centralized or
> >>>>>>> distributed/peer-to-peer manner, an appropriate compute device based
> >>>>>>> on available resources, location of data input and data sinks,
> >>>>>>> compute node properties, etc., and with varying goals including
> >>>>>>> end-to-end latency, privacy, high availability, energy conservation,
> >>>>>>> or network efficiency, for example, using load- balancing techniques
> >>>>>>> to avoid congestion.
> >>>>>>> Perhaps:
> >>>>>>> * Computation placement: in a centralized or
> >>>>>>> distributed/peer-to-peer manner, selecting an appropriate compute
> >>>>>>> device. The selection is based on available resources, location of
> >>>>>>> data input and data sinks, compute node properties, etc. with
> >>>>>>> varying goals. These goals include end-to-end latency, privacy, high
> >>>>>>> availability, energy conservation, or network efficiency. For
> >>>>>>> example, using load-balancing techniques to avoid congestion.
> >>>>>>> -->
> >>>>>>> Yes, much better – thanks!
> >>>>>>> 16) <!--[rfced] We are having difficulty parsing the parenthetical.
> >>>>>>> Please review and let us know how it may be updated for clarity.
> >>>>>>> Original:
> >>>>>>> * Maintaining consistency, freshness, reliability, and privacy of
> >>>>>>> stored/cached data in systems that are distributed, constrained, and
> >>>>>>> dynamic (e.g., owing to end devices and computing nodes churn or
> >>>>>>> mobility), and which can have additional data governance constraints
> >>>>>>> on data storage location.
> >>>>>>> -->
> >>>>>>> I suggest the following:
> >>>>>>>  • Maintaining consistency, freshness, reliability, and privacy of
> >>>>>>> stored/cached data in systems that are distributed, constrained, and
> >> dynamic (e.g., due to node mobility, energy-saving regimes, and disruptions)
> >> and which can have additional data governance constraints on data storage
> >> location.
> >>>>>>> 17) <!--[rfced] Is the following sentence intended to be a list of
> >>>>>>> characteristics of communication brokering? If so, may we update it
> >>>>>>> as follows?
> >>>>>>> Original:
> >>>>>>> Communication brokering is a typical function of IoT edge computing
> >>>>>>> that facilitates communication with IoT devices, enabling clients to
> >>>>>>> register as recipients for data from devices, as well as forwarding/
> >>>>>>> routing of traffic to or from IoT devices, enabling various data
> >>>>>>> discovery and redistribution patterns, for example, north-south with
> >>>>>>> clouds, east-west with other edge devices
> >>>>>>> [I-D.mcbride-edge-data-discovery-overview].
> >>>>>>> Perhaps:
> >>>>>>> Communication brokering is a typical function of IoT edge computing
> >>>>>>> that facilitates communication with IoT devices, enables clients to
> >>>>>>> register as recipients for data from devices forwards/routes of
> >>>>>>> traffic to or from IoT devices, enables various data discovery and
> >>>>>>> redistribution patterns (for example, north-south with clouds and
> >>>>>>> east-west with other edge devices
> >>>>>>> [I-D.mcbride-edge-data-discovery-overview].
> >>>>>>> -->
> >>>>>>> Thanks, much better. Some additional edits:
> >>>>>>> Communication brokering is a typical function of IoT edge computing
> >>>>>>> that facilitates communication with IoT devices, enables clients to
> >>>>>>> register as recipients for data from devices, forwards traffic to or
> >>>>>>> from IoT devices, enables various data discovery and redistribution
> >>>>>>> patterns (for example, north-south with clouds and east-west with
> >>>>>>> other edge devices [I-D.mcbride-edge-data-discovery-overview].
> >>>>>>> [xdf] minor typo: need to close the parenthesis at the end of the
> >> paragraph.
> >>>>>>> 18) <!--[rfced] It's unclear how "dynamic" fits into the sentence below.
> >>>>>>> Is it meant to read "dynamic environtments"?
> >>>>>>> Original:
> >>>>>>> * Addressing concerns such as limited resources, privacy, dynamic,
> >>>>>>> and heterogeneous environments to deploy machine learning at the
> >>>>>>> edge:
> >>>>>>> Perhaps:
> >>>>>>> * Addressing concerns such as limited resources, privacy, and
> >>>>>>> dynamic and heterogeneous environments to deploy machine learning
> >> at
> >>>>>>> the
> >>>>>>> edge:
> >>>>>>> -->
> >>>>>>> Yes.
> >>>>>>> 19) <!-- [rfced] Please ensure that the guidelines listed in Section
> >>>>>>> 2.1 of RFC 5743 have been adhered to in this document. --> IMO,
> >> "Status of This Memo" has all the required information.
> >>>>>>> 20) <!--[rfced] Throughout the document, there were certain places
> >>>>>>> we may have expected a citation. Please review cases like the
> >>>>>>> following (there may be more, just examples):
> >>>>>>> As the number of people working on farming has been decreasing over
> >>>>>>> time,...
> >>>>>>> *Smart Construction*
> >>>>>>> Safety is critical at construction sites. Every year, many
> >>>>>>> construction workers lose their lives because of falls, collisions,
> >>>>>>> electric shocks, and other accidents.
> >>>>>>> Policy makers have begun to provide frameworks that limit the usage
> >>>>>>> of personal data and impose strict requirements on data controllers
> >>>>>>> and processors.
> >>>>>>> -->
> >>>>>>> Good point – I suggest that we (authors) go through the document and
> >> add references to such statements.
> >>>>>>> 21) <!-- [rfced] Throughout the text, the following terminology
> >>>>>>> appears to be used inconsistently. Please review these occurrences
> >>>>>>> and let us know if/how they may be made consistent.
> >>>>>>> a) Capitalization
> >>>>>>> Big Data vs. big data
> >>>>>>> Cloud vs. cloud
> >>>>>>> Industrial IoT vs. industrial IoT
> >>>>>>> Smart Grid vs. smart grid
> >>>>>>> Thing vs. thing
> >>>>>>> Edge vs. edge
> >>>>>>> I'm in favor of using lowercase for all terms except for "Thing".
> >>>>>>> b) hyphenation
> >>>>>>> edge computing vs. edge-computing (when in attributive position
> >>>>>>> (before a noun))
> >>>>>>> -->
> >>>>>>> How about just using "edge computing"?
> >>>>>>> 22) <!-- [rfced] FYI - We have added expansions for the following
> >>>>>>> abbreviations per Section 3.6 of RFC 7322 ("RFC Style Guide").
> >>>>>>> Please review each expansion in the document carefully to ensure
> >>>>>>> correctness.
> >>>>>>> Content Delivery Network (CDN)
> >>>>>>> Constrained Application Protocol (CoAP) Discovery Domain Set (DDS)
> >>>>>>> Information-Centric Networking (ICN) Light Detection and Ranging
> >>>>>>> (LiDAR) Multi-access Edge Computing (MEC) Message Queuing
> >> Telemetry
> >>>>>>> Transport (MQTT) Open Platform Communications Unified Architecture
> >>>>>>> (OPC UA) Software-Defined Networking (SDN) Virtual Machine (VM)
> >>>>>>> -->
> >>>>>>> Looks good.
> >>>>>>> 23) <!-- [rfced] Please review the "Inclusive Language" portion of
> >>>>>>> the online Style Guide <https://w/
> >>>>>>> ww.rfc-
> >> editor.org%2Fstyleguide%2Fpart2%2F%23inclusive_language&data=
> >>>>>>> 
> >> 05%7C02%7Cari.keranen%40ericsson.com%7Ce84ce8fc30894c03e9f908dc49d
> >> 78
> >>>>>>> 
> >> 462%7C92e84cebfbfd47abbe52080c6b87953f%7C0%7C0%7C6384664375845
> >> 14144%
> >>>>>>> 
> >> 7CUnknown%7CTWFpbGZsb3d8eyJWIjoiMC4wLjAwMDAiLCJQIjoiV2luMzIiLCJB
> >> TiI6
> >>>>>>> 
> >> Ik1haWwiLCJXVCI6Mn0%3D%7C0%7C%7C%7C&sdata=VnIvjPVfSj92XST0UrVrZ
> >> 1%2FJ
> >>>>>>> jSaC864NLBEU00gSYYI%3D&reserved=0>
> >>>>>>> and let us know if any changes are needed. For example, please
> >>>>>>> consider whether "native" should be updated.
> >>>>>>> In addition, please consider whether "traditional" should be updated
> >>>>>>> for clarity. While the NIST website <https://w/
> >>>>>>> ww.nist.gov%2Fnist-research-library%2Fnist-technical-series-publicat
> >>>>>>> ions-author-
> >> instructions%23table1&data=05%7C02%7Cari.keranen%40erics
> >>>>>>> 
> >> son.com%7Ce84ce8fc30894c03e9f908dc49d78462%7C92e84cebfbfd47abbe52
> >> 080
> >>>>>>> 
> >> c6b87953f%7C0%7C0%7C638466437584520753%7CUnknown%7CTWFpbGZsb
> >> 3d8eyJWI
> >>>>>>> 
> >> joiMC4wLjAwMDAiLCJQIjoiV2luMzIiLCJBTiI6Ik1haWwiLCJXVCI6Mn0%3D%7C0
> >> %7C
> >>>>>>> 
> >> %7C%7C&sdata=YpmQ82BhRLWV6uZFaYqaTzsvN08TKVXmZSvjlL2RGJw%3D&r
> >> eserved
> >>>>>>> =0> indicates that this term is potentially biased, it is also
> >>>>>>> ambiguous.
> >>>>>>> "Tradition" is a subjective term, as it is not the same for everyone.
> >>>>>>> -->
> >>>>>>> Personally, I don't think "native" and "tradition" needs updating (but
> >> open to suggestions from co-authors).
> >>>>>>> Many thanks for the careful review and the useful suggestions!
> >>>>>>> Best regards,
> >>>>>>> Dirk
> >>>>>>> Thank you.
> >>>>>>> RFC Editor/ap/mf
> >>>>>>> *****IMPORTANT*****
> >>>>>>> Updated 2024/03/18
> >>>>>>> RFC Author(s):
> >>>>>>> --------------
> >>>>>>> Instructions for Completing AUTH48
> >>>>>>> Your document has now entered AUTH48. Once it has been reviewed
> >> and
> >>>>>>> approved by you and all coauthors, it will be published as an RFC.
> >>>>>>> If an author is no longer available, there are several remedies
> >>>>>>> available as listed in the FAQ (https://www.rfc-editor.org/faq/).
> >>>>>>> You and you coauthors are responsible for engaging other parties
> >>>>>>> (e.g., Contributors or Working Group) as necessary before providing
> >>>>>>> your approval.
> >>>>>>> Planning your review
> >>>>>>> ---------------------
> >>>>>>> Please review the following aspects of your document:
> >>>>>>> * RFC Editor questions
> >>>>>>> Please review and resolve any questions raised by the RFC Editor
> >>>>>>> that have been included in the XML file as comments marked as
> >>>>>>> follows:
> >>>>>>> <!-- [rfced] ... -->
> >>>>>>> These questions will also be sent in a subsequent email.
> >>>>>>> * Changes submitted by coauthors
> >>>>>>> Please ensure that you review any changes submitted by your
> >>>>>>> coauthors. We assume that if you do not speak up that you agree to
> >>>>>>> changes submitted by your coauthors.
> >>>>>>> * Content
> >>>>>>> Please review the full content of the document, as this cannot
> >>>>>>> change once the RFC is published. Please pay particular attention to:
> >>>>>>> - IANA considerations updates (if applicable)
> >>>>>>> - contact information
> >>>>>>> - references
> >>>>>>> * Copyright notices and legends
> >>>>>>> Please review the copyright notice and legends as defined in RFC
> >>>>>>> 5378 and the Trust Legal Provisions (TLP –
> >>>>>>> https://trustee.ietf.org/license-info/).
> >>>>>>> * Semantic markup
> >>>>>>> Please review the markup in the XML file to ensure that elements of
> >>>>>>> content are correctly tagged. For example, ensure that <sourcecode>
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> >>>>>>> * Formatted output
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> >>>>>>> formatted output, as generated from the markup in the XML file, is
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> >>>>>>> Submitting changes
> >>>>>>> ------------------
> >>>>>>> To submit changes, please reply to this email using ‘REPLY ALL’ as
> >>>>>>> all the parties CCed on this message need to see your changes. The
> >>>>>>> parties
> >>>>>>> include:
> >>>>>>> * your coauthors
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> >>>>>>> * other document participants, depending on the stream (e.g., IETF
> >>>>>>> Stream participants are your working group chairs, the responsible
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> >>>>>>> * [e-mail], which is a new archival mailing list
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> >>>>>>> list:
> >>>>>>> * More info:
> >>>>>>> https://ma/
> >>>>>>> ilarchive.ietf.org%2Farch%2Fmsg%2Fietf-announce%2Fyb6lpIGh-
> >> 4Q9l2USxI
> >>>>>>> 
> >> Ae6P8O4Zc&data=05%7C02%7Cari.keranen%40ericsson.com%7Ce84ce8fc308
> >> 94c
> >>>>>>> 
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> >> C6384
> >>>>>>> 
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> >> 2luMzIiLCJBTiI6Ik1haWwiLCJXVCI6Mn0%3D%7C0%7C%7C%7C&sdata=nGTm%
> >> 2F8DCz
> >>>>>>> J1MuFgkfRaS9LSNTRxPZmrwgXMfzyoAe6Y%3D&reserved=0
> >>>>>>> * The archive itself:
> >>>>>>> https://ma/
> >>>>>>> 
> >> ilarchive.ietf.org%2Farch%2Fbrowse%2Fauth48archive%2F&data=05%7C02%7
> >>>>>>> 
> >> Cari.keranen%40ericsson.com%7Ce84ce8fc30894c03e9f908dc49d78462%7C92
> >> e
> >>>>>>> 
> >> 84cebfbfd47abbe52080c6b87953f%7C0%7C0%7C638466437584543163%7CU
> >> nknown
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> >> %7CTWFpbGZsb3d8eyJWIjoiMC4wLjAwMDAiLCJQIjoiV2luMzIiLCJBTiI6Ik1haWw
> >> iL
> >>>>>>> 
> >> CJXVCI6Mn0%3D%7C0%7C%7C%7C&sdata=SudpBSCij8edoGrqCDfHkTHOFIXZ8
> >> kmb50O
> >>>>>>> XIm%2BH6j8%3D&reserved=0
> >>>>>>> * Note: If only absolutely necessary, you may temporarily opt out of
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> >>>>>>> addition will be noted at the top of the message.
> >>>>>>> You may submit your changes in one of two ways:
> >>>>>>> An update to the provided XML file
> >>>>>>> — OR —
> >>>>>>> An explicit list of changes in this format Section # (or indicate
> >>>>>>> Global)
> >>>>>>> OLD:
> >>>>>>> old text
> >>>>>>> NEW:
> >>>>>>> new text
> >>>>>>> You do not need to reply with both an updated XML file and an
> >>>>>>> explicit list of changes, as either form is sufficient.
> >>>>>>> We will ask a stream manager to review and approve any changes that
> >>>>>>> seem beyond editorial in nature, e.g., addition of new text,
> >>>>>>> deletion of text, and technical changes. Information about stream
> >>>>>>> managers can be found in the FAQ. Editorial changes do not require
> >> approval from a stream manager.
> >>>>>>> Approving for publication
> >>>>>>> --------------------------
> >>>>>>> To approve your RFC for publication, please reply to this email
> >>>>>>> stating that you approve this RFC for publication. Please use ‘REPLY
> >>>>>>> ALL’, as all the parties CCed on this message need to see your approval.
> >>>>>>> Files
> >>>>>>> -----
> >>>>>>> The files are available here:
> >>>>>>> https://ww/
> >>>>>>> w.rfc-
> >> editor.org%2Fauthors%2Frfc9556.xml&data=05%7C02%7Cari.keranen%
> >>>>>>> 
> >> 40ericsson.com%7Ce84ce8fc30894c03e9f908dc49d78462%7C92e84cebfbfd47
> >> ab
> >>>>>>> 
> >> be52080c6b87953f%7C0%7C0%7C638466437584547126%7CUnknown%7CT
> >> WFpbGZsb3
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> >> D
> >>>>>>> 
> >> %7C0%7C%7C%7C&sdata=KdSE6m1NJqWxMeMX%2FDJxQ2oFObt4shNMq%2B
> >> IqpxpdKTw%
> >>>>>>> 3D&reserved=0
> >>>>>>> https://ww/
> >>>>>>> w.rfc-
> >> editor.org%2Fauthors%2Frfc9556.html&data=05%7C02%7Cari.keranen
> >>>>>>> 
> >> %40ericsson.com%7Ce84ce8fc30894c03e9f908dc49d78462%7C92e84cebfbfd4
> >> 7a
> >>>>>>> 
> >> bbe52080c6b87953f%7C0%7C0%7C638466437584551533%7CUnknown%7CT
> >> WFpbGZsb
> >>>>>>> 
> >> 3d8eyJWIjoiMC4wLjAwMDAiLCJQIjoiV2luMzIiLCJBTiI6Ik1haWwiLCJXVCI6Mn0%
> >> 3
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> >> D%7C0%7C%7C%7C&sdata=NomIeyAnn%2BsOiWL22E5yM0VgVXoVq3cCFPTnK
> >> 42kRTI%3
> >>>>>>> D&reserved=0
> >>>>>>> https://ww/
> >>>>>>> w.rfc-
> >> editor.org%2Fauthors%2Frfc9556.pdf&data=05%7C02%7Cari.keranen%
> >>>>>>> 
> >> 40ericsson.com%7Ce84ce8fc30894c03e9f908dc49d78462%7C92e84cebfbfd47
> >> ab
> >>>>>>> 
> >> be52080c6b87953f%7C0%7C0%7C638466437584555905%7CUnknown%7CT
> >> WFpbGZsb3
> >>>>>>> 
> >> d8eyJWIjoiMC4wLjAwMDAiLCJQIjoiV2luMzIiLCJBTiI6Ik1haWwiLCJXVCI6Mn0%3
> >> D
> >>>>>>> 
> >> %7C0%7C%7C%7C&sdata=lbVjQbXdftUkixDMpukzb1zsw8A867gFVmbun04MS
> >> %2BQ%3D
> >>>>>>> &reserved=0
> >>>>>>> https://ww/
> >>>>>>> w.rfc-
> >> editor.org%2Fauthors%2Frfc9556.txt&data=05%7C02%7Cari.keranen%
> >>>>>>> 
> >> 40ericsson.com%7Ce84ce8fc30894c03e9f908dc49d78462%7C92e84cebfbfd47
> >> ab
> >>>>>>> 
> >> be52080c6b87953f%7C0%7C0%7C638466437584560260%7CUnknown%7CT
> >> WFpbGZsb3
> >>>>>>> 
> >> d8eyJWIjoiMC4wLjAwMDAiLCJQIjoiV2luMzIiLCJBTiI6Ik1haWwiLCJXVCI6Mn0%3
> >> D
> >>>>>>> 
> >> %7C0%7C%7C%7C&sdata=EJLtOrMGdFsYJfOSdoIrVqjFL3tXPI21umiD%2BMNF2
> >> p0%3D
> >>>>>>> &reserved=0
> >>>>>>> Diff file of the text:
> >>>>>>> https://ww/
> >>>>>>> w.rfc-editor.org%2Fauthors%2Frfc9556-
> >> diff.html&data=05%7C02%7Cari.ke
> >>>>>>> 
> >> ranen%40ericsson.com%7Ce84ce8fc30894c03e9f908dc49d78462%7C92e84ce
> >> bfb
> >>>>>>> 
> >> fd47abbe52080c6b87953f%7C0%7C0%7C638466437584564576%7CUnknown
> >> %7CTWFp
> >>>>>>> 
> >> bGZsb3d8eyJWIjoiMC4wLjAwMDAiLCJQIjoiV2luMzIiLCJBTiI6Ik1haWwiLCJXVCI6
> >>>>>>> 
> >> Mn0%3D%7C0%7C%7C%7C&sdata=WyMuoBr8IOQs1pQg2r4ZWe27NnMbBab
> >> aj8JHYizeLs
> >>>>>>> 4%3D&reserved=0
> >>>>>>> https://ww/
> >>>>>>> w.rfc-editor.org%2Fauthors%2Frfc9556-
> >> rfcdiff.html&data=05%7C02%7Cari.keranen%40ericsson.com%7Ce84ce8fc3089
> >> 4c03e9f908dc49d78462%7C92e84cebfbfd47abbe52080c6b87953f%7C0%7C0
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> >> &sdata=dQ4vn44aqsVouGJcUtusKAbPbo5lSKpKhGvFUSiSprA%3D&reserved=0
> >> (side by side) Diff of the XML:
> >>>>>>> https://ww/
> >>>>>>> w.rfc-editor.org%2Fauthors%2Frfc9556-
> >> xmldiff1.html&data=05%7C02%7Car
> >>>>>>> 
> >> i.keranen%40ericsson.com%7Ce84ce8fc30894c03e9f908dc49d78462%7C92e8
> >> 4c
> >>>>>>> 
> >> ebfbfd47abbe52080c6b87953f%7C0%7C0%7C638466437584573332%7CUnkn
> >> own%7C
> >>>>>>> 
> >> TWFpbGZsb3d8eyJWIjoiMC4wLjAwMDAiLCJQIjoiV2luMzIiLCJBTiI6Ik1haWwiLCJ
> >> X
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> >> VCI6Mn0%3D%7C0%7C%7C%7C&sdata=tbzNyICnGjlPIu%2F%2B7dZLpxG51bp
> >> Orbp0%2
> >>>>>>> FlqNqSbqSzI%3D&reserved=0 The following files are provided to
> >>>>>>> facilitate creation of your own diff files of the XML.
> >>>>>>> Initial XMLv3 created using XMLv2 as input:
> >>>>>>> https://ww/
> >>>>>>> w.rfc-
> >> editor.org%2Fauthors%2Frfc9556.original.v2v3.xml&data=05%7C02%
> >>>>>>> 
> >> 7Cari.keranen%40ericsson.com%7Ce84ce8fc30894c03e9f908dc49d78462%7C9
> >> 2
> >>>>>>> 
> >> e84cebfbfd47abbe52080c6b87953f%7C0%7C0%7C638466437584577745%7C
> >> Unknow
> >>>>>>> 
> >> n%7CTWFpbGZsb3d8eyJWIjoiMC4wLjAwMDAiLCJQIjoiV2luMzIiLCJBTiI6Ik1haW
> >> wi
> >>>>>>> 
> >> LCJXVCI6Mn0%3D%7C0%7C%7C%7C&sdata=fNcgFCayFQT7%2Fix15yulkzG1hN
> >> cPvUuw
> >>>>>>> LietVv8csLI%3D&reserved=0
> >>>>>>> XMLv3 file that is a best effort to capture v3-related format
> >>>>>>> updates
> >>>>>>> only:
> >>>>>>> https://ww/
> >>>>>>> w.rfc-
> >> editor.org%2Fauthors%2Frfc9556.form.xml&data=05%7C02%7Cari.ker
> >>>>>>> 
> >> anen%40ericsson.com%7Ce84ce8fc30894c03e9f908dc49d78462%7C92e84ceb
> >> fbf
> >>>>>>> 
> >> d47abbe52080c6b87953f%7C0%7C0%7C638466437584582102%7CUnknown
> >> %7CTWFpb
> >>>>>>> 
> >> GZsb3d8eyJWIjoiMC4wLjAwMDAiLCJQIjoiV2luMzIiLCJBTiI6Ik1haWwiLCJXVCI6
> >> M
> >>>>>>> 
> >> n0%3D%7C0%7C%7C%7C&sdata=pLhJh0kYdZqj0WrixWHmFyc0rrjnrXnh4njB%
> >> 2BW2vb
> >>>>>>> yI%3D&reserved=0
> >>>>>>> Tracking progress
> >>>>>>> -----------------
> >>>>>>> The details of the AUTH48 status of your document are here:
> >>>>>>> https://ww/
> >>>>>>> w.rfc-
> >> editor.org%2Fauth48%2Frfc9556&data=05%7C02%7Cari.keranen%40eri
> >>>>>>> 
> >> csson.com%7Ce84ce8fc30894c03e9f908dc49d78462%7C92e84cebfbfd47abbe
> >> 520
> >>>>>>> 
> >> 80c6b87953f%7C0%7C0%7C638466437584586464%7CUnknown%7CTWFpbG
> >> Zsb3d8eyJ
> >>>>>>> 
> >> WIjoiMC4wLjAwMDAiLCJQIjoiV2luMzIiLCJBTiI6Ik1haWwiLCJXVCI6Mn0%3D%7C
> >> 0%
> >>>>>>> 
> >> 7C%7C%7C&sdata=aHlxHfX%2Fwk%2Ft6BR7cS4MgQoxbWExVG3I%2FJE%2FoS
> >> z5%2Fro
> >>>>>>> %3D&reserved=0 Please let us know if you have any questions.
> >>>>>>> Thank you for your cooperation,
> >>>>>>> RFC Editor
> >>>>>>> --------------------------------------
> >>>>>>> RFC9556 (draft-irtf-t2trg-iot-edge-10) Title : IoT Edge Challenges
> >>>>>>> and Functions
> >>>>>>> Author(s) : J. Hong, Y. Hong, X. de Foy, M. Kovatsch, E. Schooler,
> >>>>>>> D. Kutscher WG Chair(s) :
> >>>>>>> Area Director(s) :
> >>>>>>> 
> >>>>>>> 
> >>>>>>> 
> >>>>>>> 
> >>>>>>> Defining the XR Experience: Enabling the Immersivity Ecosystem This
> >>>>>>> e-mail is intended only for the use of the individual or entity to which it
> >> is addressed, and may contain information that is privileged, confidential
> >> and/or otherwise protected from disclosure to anyone other than its intended
> >> recipient. Unintended transmission shall not constitute waiver of any privilege
> >> or confidentiality obligation. If you received this communication in error, please
> >> do not review, copy or distribute it, notify me immediately by email, and delete
> >> the original message and any attachments. Unless expressly stated in this e-
> >> mail, nothing in this message or any attachment should be construed as a
> >> digital or electronic signature.
> >>> 
> >>> 
> > 
>