Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9551 <draft-ietf-detnet-oam-framework-11> for your review

[Greg Mirsky <[e-mail]>]

Hi Megan,
everything looks perfect. I've noticed one quote in Section 3.7:
   |  Hybrid Methods are Methods of Measurement that use a combination
   |  of Active Methods and Passive Methods...
that appears differently in the current version of the draft:
      Hybrid Methods are Methods of Measurement that use a combination
      of Active Methods and Passive Methods.

Is there a reason for this? To me, the latter format looks better. WDYT?

Regards,
Greg

On Mon, Mar 4, 2024 at 4:56 PM Megan Ferguson <[e-mail]> wrote:

> Greg, Fabrice, Georgios, and Carlos,
>
> Thank you for your replies.  We have updated accordingly.
>
> Please review the files carefully as we do not make changes after
> publication.
>
> Note: we did not see anyone reply to the keywords request.
> We will assume the words in the title are sufficient unless we hear
> otherwise.
>
> The files have been posted here (please refresh):
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>    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9551.pdf
>    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9551.html
>    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9551.xml
>
> The relevant diff files have been posted here (please refresh):
>    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9551-diff.html (comprehensive
> diff)
>    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9551-auth48diff.html (AUTH48
> changes only)
>    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9551-lastdiff.html (last to
> current version only)
>
> Please contact us with any further updates/questions/comments you may
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>
> https://www.rfc-editor.org/auth48/rfc9551
>
> Thank you.
>
> RFC Editor/mf
>
> > On Mar 4, 2024, at 6:50 AM, CARLOS JESUS BERNARDOS CANO <[e-mail]>
> wrote:
> >
> > Thanks. I don't have anything to add and I agree with the proposed
> changes and replies by the co-authors.
> >
> > Carlos
> >
> > On Mon, Mar 4, 2024 at 10:38 AM Georgios Z. Papadopoulos <
> [e-mail]> wrote:
> > Dear RFC editor,
> >
> > Thank you for your work and comments.
> >
> > > On 1 Mar 2024, at 20:08, [e-mail] wrote:
> > >
> > > Authors,
> > >
> > > While reviewing this document during AUTH48, please resolve (as
> necessary) the following questions, which are also in the XML file.
> > >
> > > 1) <!--[rfced] Fabrice: we see a slightly different address in RFC
> 9450.
> > >     Please let us know if ICube Lab, Pole API should be added to this
> > >     document as well?-->
> > >
> > >
> > > 2) <!--[rfced] Please note that the XML submitted had some author
> > >     comments that have since been deleted.  We assume all had been
> > >     reviewed.  Please let us know if this is in error. -->
> > >
> > >
> > > 3) <!--[rfced] Georgios: please note that we have updated the header to
> > >     use your single first initial as was done in RFC 9450.  Please
> > >     let us know any objections.  -->
> >
> > [GP] Many thanks. No objections.
> >
> > > 4) <!-- [rfced] Please insert any keywords (beyond those that appear in
> > >     the title) for use on https://www.rfc-editor.org/search. -->
> > >
> > >
> > > 5) <!--[rfced] Is the following text equivalent to the original?  If
> so,
> > >     the "Perhaps" text may be clearer/easier for the reader.  If not,
> > >     please let us know how to rephrase.
> > >
> > > Original:
> > > Specifically, it investigates the requirements for a deterministic
> > > network, supporting critical flows.
> > >
> > > Perhaps:
> > > Specifically, it investigates the requirements for a deterministic
> > > network that supports critical flows.
> > > -->
> >
> > [GP] +1
> > Thanks for the reformulation.
> >
> > > 6) <!--[rfced] Please confirm that our updated text maintains your
> > >     intended meaning.
> > >
> > > Original:
> > > DetNet expects to implement an OAM framework to maintain a real-time
> > > view of the network infrastructure, and its ability to respect the
> > > Service Level Objectives (SLOs), such as in-order packet delivery,
> > > packet delay, delay variation, and packet loss ratio, assigned to each
> > > DetNet flow.
> > >
> > > Current:
> > > DetNet is expected to implement an OAM framework to maintain a
> > > real-time view of the network infrastructure, and its ability to
> > > respect the Service Level Objectives (SLOs), such as in-order packet
> > > delivery, packet delay, delay variation, and packet loss ratio,
> > > assigned to each DetNet flow.
> > > -->
> >
> > [GP] +1
> > Thanks for the reformulation.
> >
> > > 7) <!--[rfced] Please review our updates to this paragraph to ensure we
> > >     have maintained your intended meaning.  Note that a similar
> > >     change was made in Section 2.
> > >
> > > Original:
> > >
> > >   This document lists the functional requirements toward OAM for a
> > >   DetNet domain.  The list can further be used for gap analysis of
> > >   available OAM tools to identify possible enhancements of existing
> > >   or whether new OAM tools are required to support proactive and
> > >   on-demand path monitoring and service validation.
> > >
> > > Current:
> > >
> > >   This document lists the OAM functional requirements for a DetNet
> > >   domain.  The list can further be used for gap analysis of available
> > >   OAM tools to identify:
> > >
> > >   *  possible enhancements of existing tools, or
> > >
> > >   *  whether new OAM tools are required to support proactive and on-
> > >      demand path monitoring and service validation.
> > >
> > > -->
> >
> > [GP] +1
> > Thanks for the reformulation.
> >
> > > 8) <!--[rfced] As our policy is to expand abbreviations on first use,
> all
> > >     of the abbreviations in the "Abbreviations" sections have already
> > >     been introduced.  Additionally, there are a number of
> > >     abbreviations in the "Definitions" section.  Might it be better/
> > >     more consistent to cut the "Abbreviations" section? -->
> >
> > [GP] +1
> >
> > > 9) <!--[rfced] Please review the use of "it" in the following sentence.
> > >     Does it refer to "set" (i.e., a set of SLOs is required for the
> > >     flows that the set generates)?  If not, please see the possible
> > >     rephrase below or let us know how we may clarify.
> > >
> > > Original:
> > > Most critical applications will define a set of SLOs to be required
> > > for the DetNet flows it generates.
> > >
> > > Perhaps:
> > > Most critical applications will define a set of SLOs to be required
> > > for the DetNet flows they generate.
> > > -->
> >
> > [GP] +1
> > Thanks for the reformulation.
> >
> > > 10) <!--[rfced] In the following, may we cut "criteria" from this
> sentence
> > >     (as it seems to be the quality that degrades, not the criteria)?
> > >
> > > Original:
> > >   Because the quality of service criteria associated with a path may
> > >   degrade, the network has to provision additional resources along
> > >   the path.
> > >
> > > Perhaps:
> > >   Because the quality of service associated with a path may degrade,
> > >   the network has to provision additional resources along the path.
> > > -->
> >
> > [GP] +1
> > Thanks for the reformulation.
> > It makes more sense now indeed.
> >
> > > 11) <!--[rfced] We note that draft-mirsky-ippm-hybrid-two-step-15 is
> > >     listed in the datatracker as replaced by
> > >     draft-ietf-ippm-hybrid-two-step.  Please confirm that we may
> > >     update the reference to point to the latter. -->
> > >
> > >
> > > 12) <!-- [rfced] Please review the "Inclusive Language" portion of the
> > >     online Style Guide
> > >     <https://www.rfc-editor.org/styleguide/part2/#inclusive_language>
> > >     and let us know if any changes are needed.
> > >
> > >
> > > For example, please consider whether the following use of "natively"
> > > should be updated:
> > >
> > > Original:
> > > ...IP data plane is natively in-band with respect to the monitored
> > >
> > >
> > > -->
> > >
> > >
> > > Thank you.
> > >
> > > RFC Editor/mf
> >
> >
> > Many thanks,
> > Georgios
> >
> >
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> > > --------------------------------------
> > > RFC9551 (draft-ietf-detnet-oam-framework-11)
> > >
> > > Title            : Framework of Operations, Administration and
> Maintenance (OAM) for Deterministic Networking (DetNet)
> > > Author(s)        : G. Mirsky, F. Theoleyre, G. Papadopoulos, C.
> Bernardos, B. Varga, J. Farkas
> > > WG Chair(s)      : Lou Berger, János Farkas
> > >
> > > Area Director(s) : Alvaro Retana, John Scudder, Andrew Alston
> > >
> > >
> >
>
>