Re: [Gen-art] Gen-ART review of draft-ietf-ecrit-held-routing-04

[Jouni <[e-mail]>]

Hi,

Thanks for a quick reponse. OK with the proposed changes.

- Jouni


> On 04 Feb 2016, at 00:02, James Winterbottom <[e-mail]> wrote:
> 
> Hi Jouni,
> 
> Please see inline:
> 
> Assuming these changes are okay, I will re-issue once I have incorporated the other requested changes and comments.
> 
> Cheers
> James
> 
> 
>> On 4 Feb 2016, at 10:31 am, Jouni Korhonen <[e-mail]> wrote:
>> 
>> I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed by the IESG for the IETF Chair. Please wait for direction from your document shepherd or AD before posting a new version of the draft. For more information, please see the FAQ at <​ http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.
>> 
>> 
>> - Jouni
>> 
>> Summary:
>> 	This draft is basically ready for publication, but has nits
>> 	that should be fixed before publication. The nits are only
>> 	editorial.
>> 
>> Comments:
>> 
>> I do have little expertise on ECRIT topics in general so bear with me.
>> 
>> * The I-D gives IDnits errors and stuff and those must be corrected.
>>  Specifically those that concern the abstract, updating RFCs and such.
>> 
>> * Starting from Section 1 (Intro) most of the acronyms are not expanded
>>  on the first use.. or at all in the document. Revisit all acronyms
>>  including HELD, LoST etc and expand them on the first use.
> [AJW] Done!
> 
>> 
>> * The sentence on line 185 (IDnits) took me a while to parse ;) Maybe
>>  some rewording would make it a bit more readable.
> [AJW] Okay
> 
> Old "In countries amenable to the use of LoST and forest guides no public forest guides have been deployed.
> 
> Proposed “Even in countries amenable to the use of LoST and forest guides, no public forest guides have yet been deployed”.
> 
> 
>> 
>> * There is no reference to "forest guide". I would expect to see one
>>  and at least a note that it is a special instance of a LoST server.
> [AJW] In the terms section I have added na explicit reference to RFC 5582 which defines the overall mapping architecture.
> 
>> 
>> * In Section 4 URN is written multiple times as "urn”.
> [AJW] Fixed
> 
>> 
>> * On line 290 s/PSAPS/PSAPs
> [AJW] changed the text to read "It is important for devices and intermediaries to take all steps possible to ensure 
> 	   that emergency calls are routed to the correct PSAP.”
> 
> 
>> 
>> * On lines 304 and 310 s/section/Section
> [AJW] Fixed
>> 
>> * On line 462 s/Layer 7/layer-7
> [AJW] Fixed]
> 
>> 
>