Re: [Gen-art] Gen-ART review of draft-ietf-ecrit-held-routing-04

[James Winterbottom <[e-mail]>]

Hi Jouni,

Please see inline:

Assuming these changes are okay, I will re-issue once I have incorporated the other requested changes and comments.

Cheers
James


> On 4 Feb 2016, at 10:31 am, Jouni Korhonen <[e-mail]> wrote:
> 
> I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed by the IESG for the IETF Chair. Please wait for direction from your document shepherd or AD before posting a new version of the draft. For more information, please see the FAQ at <​ http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.
> 
> 
> - Jouni
> 
> Summary:
> 	This draft is basically ready for publication, but has nits
> 	that should be fixed before publication. The nits are only
> 	editorial.
> 
> Comments:
> 
> I do have little expertise on ECRIT topics in general so bear with me.
> 
> * The I-D gives IDnits errors and stuff and those must be corrected.
>  Specifically those that concern the abstract, updating RFCs and such.
> 
> * Starting from Section 1 (Intro) most of the acronyms are not expanded
>  on the first use.. or at all in the document. Revisit all acronyms
>  including HELD, LoST etc and expand them on the first use.
[AJW] Done!

> 
> * The sentence on line 185 (IDnits) took me a while to parse ;) Maybe
>  some rewording would make it a bit more readable.
[AJW] Okay

Old "In countries amenable to the use of LoST and forest guides no public forest guides have been deployed.

Proposed “Even in countries amenable to the use of LoST and forest guides, no public forest guides have yet been deployed”.


> 
> * There is no reference to "forest guide". I would expect to see one
>  and at least a note that it is a special instance of a LoST server.
[AJW] In the terms section I have added na explicit reference to RFC 5582 which defines the overall mapping architecture.

> 
> * In Section 4 URN is written multiple times as "urn”.
[AJW] Fixed

> 
> * On line 290 s/PSAPS/PSAPs
[AJW] changed the text to read "It is important for devices and intermediaries to take all steps possible to ensure 
	   that emergency calls are routed to the correct PSAP.”


> 
> * On lines 304 and 310 s/section/Section
[AJW] Fixed
> 
> * On line 462 s/Layer 7/layer-7
[AJW] Fixed]

>