Re: Last Call: <draft-bradner-rfc3979bis-10.txt> (Intellectual Property Rights in IETF Technology) to Best Current Practice

Russ Housley <housley@vigilsec.com> Tue, 07 February 2017 16:19 UTC

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Subject: Re: Last Call: <draft-bradner-rfc3979bis-10.txt> (Intellectual Property Rights in IETF Technology) to Best Current Practice
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From: Russ Housley <housley@vigilsec.com>
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Date: Tue, 7 Feb 2017 11:16:56 -0500
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I reviewed draft-bradner-rfc3979bis-11, and I have come comments and some nits.

Comments …

In Section 1, definition b, please  update the bullet about deign teams to:

	o any WG design teams [see BCP 25] and other design teams that intend to deliver an output to the IETF,

In Section 1, definition j, please be more specific in the reference.  I think the intention is to reference Section 2.2 of [RFC2026].

In Section 5.5, paragraph D, I suggest a different wording:

      D. Licensing declarations must be made by people with appropriate
          authorization as discussed in Section 5.6 of this document.

In Section 7, please provide pointers for FRAND, RAND, and RAND-z.

In Section 11, please drop “legal” from the first sentence in the second paragraph:

   The rules that apply ...


Nits …

I see “this memo” and “this document”.  Either one is fine with me, but please pick one and use it throughout.

Section 2: s/IETF and its Participants/IETF and IETF Participants/

Section 5.2.3:  s/IETF area directors/IETF Area Directors/

Section 5.3: s/RFC-Editor/RFC Editor/

Please remove the period at the end of the heading for Section 5.4.2.

Section 5.4.2: s/drafts/Internet-Drafts/

Section 5.4.2, paragraph A:
   s/application (3)/application, (3)/
   s/application ), (4)/application, (4)/

Section 5.4.2, paragraph D:
   s/submit to IETF an update/submit an update/
   s/Secretariat/IETF Secretariat/ (several places)

Section 5.5, paragraph A: s/non- discriminatory/non-discriminatory/

Section 5.6:
   s/IPR that is (a) owned/IPR that (a) is owned/
   s/ or (b) that such persons/; or (b) persons/
   s/ or (c) that such persons/; or (c) persons/
   s/, or (d) in the case of an individual, the individual/; or (d) an individual/

Section 6: s/violation of IETF process/violation of the IETF Standards Process/

Section 7: s/Working groups and areas may/IETF Areas and IETF working groups/

Russ