Re: [sipcore] Working Group Last Call draft-jesske-update-p-visited-network-03.txt

Paul Kyzivat <pkyzivat@alum.mit.edu> Wed, 12 April 2023 15:33 UTC

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References: <D082B571-90F4-4855-A86A-BC4C7EC0FC95@brianrosen.net>
From: Paul Kyzivat <pkyzivat@alum.mit.edu>
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Archived-At: <https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/sipcore/9qmHZWsl6x74NedJ8fQy_OdJrYU>
Subject: Re: [sipcore] Working Group Last Call draft-jesske-update-p-visited-network-03.txt
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Comments on this draft:

On 4/10/23 1:51 AM, Brian Rosen wrote:
> This message starts a two week working group last call for  draft-jesske-update-p-visited-network-03.  Please review this (short) document and send comments, positive or negative to the list.

I have no problem with the substance of this document. But I think the 
form could use improvement. In particular:

1) RFC7976 was very clear in exactly how it changed 7315, by having "Old 
Text"/"New Text" showing an entire altered paragraph. Hence an 
implementer has clarity about what is to be implemented. This new 
document isn't as clear. It says the following in section 3:

    In [RFC7976] section 3.  "Updates to RFC 7315" the P-Visited-Network-
    ID header field was restricted to the following: The P-Visited-
    Network-ID header field can appear in all SIP methods except ACK,
    BYE, CANCEL, NOTIFY, PRACK, INFO, and UPDATE.  This document allows
    the use of the P-Visited-Network-ID header field additionally within
    Responses as follows: Any SIP Response message, except for a 100
    (Trying), MAY contain a P-Visited-Network-ID header field.  The P-
    Visited-Network-ID header field is not needed in the 100 (Trying)
    responses, since they are transmitted hop by hop, not end to end.

I infer that it is saying to add text to [RFC7976] section 3, presumably 
within the paragraph following "New Text". It isn't explicit about 
exactly where to add that, nor if the addition is to be one sentence:

                            Any SIP Response message, except for a 100
    (Trying), MAY contain a P-Visited-Network-ID header field.

or two sentences:

                            Any SIP Response message, except for a 100
    (Trying), MAY contain a P-Visited-Network-ID header field.  The P-
    Visited-Network-ID header field is not needed in the 100 (Trying)
    responses, since they are transmitted hop by hop, not end to end.

Instead, I suggest that this new doc provide a newer revised version of 
the complete text of section 5.7 of 7315.

I'm not sure if it is better to state this directly relative to section 
5.7 of 7315, or relative to section 3 of 7976.

2) This doc is flagged as Updates:7976. But 7976 updates 7315, and the 
changes in this doc alter to changes to 7315. So this doc should also be 
tagged as updating 7315. Or, it might be sufficient for it to only 
update 7315 and not 7976.

3) IdNits reports a few small things that should be addressed.

	Thanks,
	Paul