Re: [auth48] [AD] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9388 <draft-ietf-cdni-additional-footprint-types-11> for your review

[Nir Sopher <[e-mail]>]

Hi,
And thank you very much for the comments.
See responses inline.
WRT item #8, #9, #12 we will do our best to prepare a new XML with the
proper changes by the beginning of next week.
Many thanks,
Nir


On Wed, Jun 7, 2023 at 6:22 AM <[e-mail]> wrote:

> Authors and *AD,
>
> While reviewing this document during AUTH48, please resolve (as necessary)
> the following questions, which are also in the XML file.
>
> 1) <!--[rfced] *AD - Should RFC 9241 be added to this document's header as
> being updated by this document?
>
> We see the following in the Abstract:
>
> "This document also supplements RFC 9241 with relevant ALTO entity
> domain types."
>
> And in the document announcement message (see
>
> https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-cdni-additional-footprint-types/writeup/
> ):
>
> "The document also updates RFC 9241 with relevant ALTO entity
> domain types."
>
> The current header only indicates RFC 8008 as being updated by this
> document.
> Please advise.
>
> -->
>
[NS/SM]
We think it would be best to change the wording a bit:
Original:

This document also supplements RFC 9241 with relevant ALTO entity domain types.

Suggested:

Furthermore, this document defines a new entity domain type registered
in the ALTO Entity Domain Types Registry, as defined in section 7.4 of
RFC 9241.


>
> 2) <!-- [rfced] Please insert any keywords (beyond those that appear in
> the title) for use on https://www.rfc-editor.
> org/search. -->
>

[SM/NS]
Can you please clarify?


>
> 3) <!-- [rfced] For clarity, may we update the sentence as follows ("is
>      defined" / "defines" and "matching" / "that match")?
>
> Also, may we update "Herein" to "This document"? Or does "Herein"
> refer to RFC 8006?
>
> Original:
>    Herein is
>    defined the subdivisioncode simple data type, as well as a footprint
>    type allowing the dCDN to define constraints matching geographic
>    areas with better granularity, specifically using the [ISO3166-2]
>    Country Subdivision codes.
>
> Perhaps:
>    This document defines
>    the subdivisioncode simple data type as well as a footprint
>    type, allowing the dCDN to define constraints that match geographic
>    areas with better granularity, specifically using the [ISO3166-2]
>    Country Subdivision codes.
> -->
>

[SM/NS]
Agree, thanks


>
>
> 4) <!-- [rfced] Appendix B of [RFC8008] shows "Semantics for Footprint
>      Advertisement"; we don't see "semantics of Footprint Objects
>      array" in that section. Please review and let us know if any
>      changes are necessary.
>
> Original:
>    Appendix B of [RFC8008] specifies the semantics of a Footprint
>    Objects array as a multiple, additive, footprint constraints.
>
> Perhaps:
>    Appendix B of [RFC8008] specifies the semantics of a Footprint
>    Advertisement (including a Footprint Objects array) as multiple,
>    additive, footprint constraints.
> -->
>
> [SM/NS]
Suggested:
Appendix B of [RFC8008] specifies the semantics for Footprint
   Advertisement such that multiple footprint constraints are additive.


> 5) <!-- [rfced] FYI, to avoid awkward hyphenation and article issues with
>      singular/plural, we updated this sentence. Please review and let
>      us know any objections.
>
> Original:
>    The footprint union also enables composing a countrycode and
>    subdivisioncode based footprint objects.
>
> Current:
>    The footprint union also enables the composing of footprint objects
>    based on the countrycode and subdivisioncode.
> -->
>
> [SM/NS]
Agreed. Thanks

>
> 6) <!--[rfced] We had the following questions about text in the Table in
>      Section 4.1.  Note that we will communicate any necessary changes
>      to IANA upon completion of AUTH48.
>
> a) What does "hyphen-minus" mean?  Is this trying to communicate that
> some people might call it a hyphen and some might say minus sign?  Or
> something else?
>

[SM/NS]
We can drop the "-minus" and leave only the "hyphen".
Note that we took the "hyphen-minus" terminology for the actual ISO
defining the country subdivision values:
See https://www.iso.org/obp/ui/#iso:std:iso:3166:-2:ed-4:v1:en


> b) Is this spacing correct?
>
> Original:
> Characters from A-Z;0-9
>
> Perhaps:
> Characters from A-Z and 0-9
>
> -->
>
[SM/NS]
 For the ease of reading we agree with your suggestion.
Yet again, this was copied from the ISO defining the values structure


>
> 7) <!-- [rfced] For reference [OC-RR], the provided URL points to a page
>      that shows the document being both Version 2.0 and 2.1. Which
>      version is correct?
>
> Also, the provided URL shows two more contributors: Thomas Edwards and
> Yoav Gressel. Would you like these to be added to the reference as
> authors?
>
> Original:
>    [OC-RR]    Finkelman, O., Ed., Hofmann, J., Klein, E., Mishra, S.,
>               Ma, K., Sahar, D., and B. Zurat, "Open Caching - Request
>               Routing Functional Specification", Version 2.0, 15 January
>               2021, <https://www.svta.org/product/open-cache-request-
>               routing-functional-specification/>.
> Perhaps:
>    [OC-RR]    Finkelman, O., Ed., Zurat, B., Sahar, D., Klein, E.,
>               Hofmann, J., Ma, K.J., Stock, M., Mishra, S., Edwards, T.,
>               and Y. Yoav, "Open Caching - Request Routing Functional
>               Specification", Version 2.0, 15 January 2021,
>               <https://www.svta.org/product/open-cache-request-routing-
>               functional-specification/>.
> -->
>
[SM/NS]
We will stick to version 2.0
We are working to get the OC-RR webpage updated to reflect version 2.0.
We would also push forward adding Thomas Edwards to the authors list (Yoav
is already listed in the document).
Please note that in the proposal Yoav was added as "Y. Yoav" instead of "G.
Yoav" or to be consistent "Gressel, Y."


>
> 8) <!-- [rfced] Terminology: Throughout the document, we spotted the
>      following issues related to terminology.  Please review each
>      question below and let us know how to update, using old/new where
>      necessary.  Note that you are welcome to update the xml file
>      itself if that is easier than explaining the changes via email.
>
>
> 1) Please review the way that the following terms appear throughout the
> document
> with regard to capitalization, hyphenation, quotation, spacing, phrasing,
> etc. and let us know
> if/how we may make these terms consistent:
>
> a) object vs. Object
>
> CDNI Footprint object vs. CNDI Footprint Object
> Footprint Objects vs. Footprint objects vs. footprint objects
>
> (Note that RFC 8006 uses Footprint object)
>

[SM/NS] we changed all instances to lower case "object"

>
> b) Footprint, Footprint Types, Footprint Values, Footprint Union
>
> footprint (as a general noun)
>
> Footprint Types vs. footprint-type vs. footprint types vs. "footprint-type"
> -See also "Country Code" footprint type and "IPv4CIDR" and "IPv6CIDR"
> footprint types.
>
> Footprint-value vs. footprint value
>
>
> Union Footprint type
> "Footprintunion" footprint type
> "Footprintunion" object
> Footprint object of type "footprint union"
>
> [SM/NS] We are comparing the draft with previous RFCs and trying to come
up wit a consistent scheme for different use cases
1) "Footprint Type": "type" should  be in lower case unless it is part of
the section header
2)  "footprint-type": the dash is OK when it is part of an anchor or when
it stand for the property name (in the different examples)
3) "Footprint Union": should be capitalized
4) "footprintunion" should be used in some cases - we are trying to
understand where


c) Subdivision
>
> Subdivision Code Footprint Type
> a footprint object of type "subdivisioncode"
> SUBDIVISION Domain (and SUBDIVISION domain)
> country Subdivision code vs. Country Subdivision codes
> subdivisioncode vs. subdivision code
>
> [SM/NS] this case is similar to the "Footprint Union" case. We will work
on it and would update

>
> 2) For the following terms, would you like to match their use in past
> RFCs, specifically RFC 8006?  Please review the various styles that
> appear in the document currently and our suggested updates to
> make those forms consistent throughout the document and with RFC 8006.
>
> Current:
> Country Code vs. countrycode vs. country code
>
> Perhaps:
>    countrycode
>
> Current:
>    ipv4cidr vs. IPv4CIDR
>
> Perhaps:
>    ipv4cidr
>
> Current:
>    ipv6cidr vs. IPv6CIDR
>
> Perhaps:
>    ipv6cidr
>
> -->
>
> [SM/NS] This is again the "footprint union" vs. "footprintunion" issue. We
will find a consistent usage

>
> 9) <!--[rfced]Please review the uses of the word "match" throughout the
> document.
> In some places, it is not clear that the constraint does not have to
> match both patterns given.
>
> Examples with some possible updates to help the reader.
>
> Original:
> The Footprint Object in this example creates a
> constraint matching clients in the states of New Jersey and New York,
> USA (ISO [ISO3166-2] codes "US-NJ" and "US-NY", respectively).
>
> Perhaps:
> The Footprint Object in this example creates a
> constraint that matches clients in the state of either New Jersey or New
> York,
> (ISO [ISO3166-2] codes "US-NJ" and "US-NY", respectively).
>

[SM/NS]  Agreed


> Original:
> Using Footprint Objects of these types, one can define FCI Capability
> Advertisement Object footprint constraints that match IPv4 or IPv6
> clients.  However, the described "narrowing" semantic of the Footprint
> Objects array, as described in Appendix B of [RFC8008], prevents the
> usage of these objects together to create a footprint constraint that
> matches IPv4 clients together with IPv6 clients.
>
> Perhaps (adding "either...but not both", cutting "together", and
> combining the sentences):
> Using Footprint Objects of these types, one can
> define FCI Capability Advertisement Object footprint constraints that
> match either IPv4 or IPv6 clients, but not both, due to the described
> "narrowing" semantic of the Footprint Objects
> array (Appendix B of [RFC8008]) that prevents the usage of
> these objects together to create a footprint constraint that matches
> IPv4 clients with IPv6 clients.
>

[SM/NS] Agreed


>
> Original:
> Below is an example for an attempt at creating an object matching
> IPv4 clients of subnet "192.0.2.0/24", as well as IPv6 clients of
> subnet "2001:db8::/32".
>
> Perhaps:
> Below is an example attempting to create an object that matches
> IPv4 clients of subnet "192.0.2.0/24" as well as IPv6 clients of
> subnet "2001:db8::/32".
> -->
>
[SM/NS] Agreed

>
>
> 10) <!--[rfced] Please review the following with regard to ISO citations.
>
> a) Is ISO 3166-2 the name of the code?  If not, perhaps the following
> change would be helpful to the reader.  Note that there may be more
> occurences, please review all as this is simply an example.
>
> Original:
>    The "subdivisioncode" data type specified in Section 2.1.1.1
>    describes a country-specific subdivision using an [ISO3166-2] code.
>
> Perhaps:
>    The "subdivisioncode" data type specified in Section 2.1.1.1
>    describes a country-specific subdivision using a code described in
>    [ISO3166-2].
>
[SM/NS]
Maybe:
The "subdivisioncode" data type specified in Section 2.1.1.1
   describes a country-specific subdivision using a code* as defined* in
   [ISO3166-2].


> b) Similar issue to that in a), but please also review if the second
> parenthetical should also mention "alpha-2 codes"?
>
> Original:
> In Figure 4, we create a constraint covering autonomous system 64496
> within the US (ISO [ISO3166-1] alpha-2 code "US") and the Ontario
> province of Canada (ISO [ISO3166-2] code "CA-ON").
>
> Perhaps:
> In Figure 4, we create a constraint covering autonomous system 64496
> within the USA (ISO alpha-2 code "US" as described in [ISO3166-1]) and
> the Ontario province of Canada (ISO code "CA-ON" as described in
> [ISO3166-2]).
> -->
>
> [SM/NS] Agreed


>
> 11) <!-- [rfced] Please review whether any of the notes in this document
> should be in the <aside> element. It is defined as "a container for
> content that is semantically less important or tangential to the
> content that surrounds it" (
> https://authors.ietf.org/en/rfcxml-vocabulary#aside).
> -->
>
[NS] I do not fully understand the point here.
Will try to read more about it, but if you can give more details/an example
it would greatly assist me.

>
>
> 12) <!-- [rfced] Please review the "Inclusive Language" portion of the
> online
> Style Guide <
> https://www.rfc-editor.org/styleguide/part2/#inclusive_language>
> and let us know if any changes are needed.
>
> Note that our script did not flag any words in particular, but this should
> still be reviewed as a best practice.
> -->
>
>
> Thank you.
>
> RFC Editor/st/mf
>
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> --------------------------------------
> RFC9388 (draft-ietf-cdni-additional-footprint-types-11)
>
> Title            : Content Delivery Network Interconnection (CDNI)
> Footprint Types: Subdivision Code and Footprint Union
> Author(s)        : N. Sopher, S. Mishra
> WG Chair(s)      : Kevin J. Ma, Sanjay Mishra
> Area Director(s) : Murray Kucherawy, Francesca Palombini
>
>
>