Re: [C310] [AD - Erik Kline] Re: AUTH48 [JM]: RFC 9033 <draft-ietf-6tisch-msf-18.txt> NOW AVAILABLE

Simon Duquennoy <simon.duquennoy@gmail.com> Fri, 23 April 2021 08:07 UTC

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From: Simon Duquennoy <simon.duquennoy@gmail.com>
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Cc: Tengfei Chang <tengfei.chang@gmail.com>, 6tisch-ads@ietf.org, c310@rfc-editor.org, 6tisch-chairs@ietf.org, "rfc-editor@rfc-editor.org" <rfc-editor@rfc-editor.org>
To: Xavi Vilajosana Guillen <xvilajosana@uoc.edu>
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Subject: Re: [C310] [AD - Erik Kline] Re: AUTH48 [JM]: RFC 9033 <draft-ietf-6tisch-msf-18.txt> NOW AVAILABLE
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Dear Jean,

I approve the document for publication in its current state.

Best regards,
Simon

> On 23 Apr 2021, at 05:13, Xavi Vilajosana Guillen <xvilajosana@uoc.edu> wrote:
> 
> Dear Jean,
> 
> I also approve the publication of this document in its current state.
> 
> kind regards
> 
> Missatge de Tengfei Chang <tengfei.chang@gmail.com <mailto:tengfei.chang@gmail.com>> del dia dv., 23 d’abr. 2021 a les 2:38:
> Hi Jean,
> 
> It reads good for me and I state that:
> 
> I approve the publication of this document in its current state.
> 
> Tengfei
> 
> On Thu, Apr 22, 2021 at 11:53 PM Jean Mahoney <jmahoney@amsl.com <mailto:jmahoney@amsl.com>> wrote:
> Tengfei, Pascal, and *AD (Erik),
> 
> * Erik, please review the newly added one-paragraph section in the Introduction (Section 1.2, Related Documents), and let us know if you approve of the addition. 
> 
> NEW:
> 
> 1.2.  Related Documents
> 
>    This specification uses messages and variables defined in IEEE Std
>    802.15.4-2015 [IEEE802154].  It is expected that those resources will
>    remain in the future versions of IEEE Std 802.15.4; in which case,
>    this specification also applies to those future versions.  In the
>    remainder of the document, we use [IEEE802154] to refer to IEEE Std
>    802.15.4-2015 as well as future versions of IEEE Std 802.15.4 that
>    remain compatible.
> https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9033.html#name-related-documents <https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9033.html#name-related-documents>
> 
> Tengfei and Pascal, thank you for your responses. We have updated the document with your feedback:
> 
>    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9033.txt <https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9033.txt>
>    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9033.pdf <https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9033.pdf>
>    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9033.html <https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9033.html>
>    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9033.xml <https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9033.xml>
>    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9033-diff.html <https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9033-diff.html> (all changes)
>    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9033-auth48diff.html <https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9033-auth48diff.html> (all AUTH48 changes)
>    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9033-lastdiff.html <https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9033-lastdiff.html> (these changes)
>    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9033-lastrfcdiff.html <https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9033-lastrfcdiff.html> (these changes side by side)
> 
> We will await further word from you and your coauthors regarding other AUTH48 changes and/or approval.
> 
> Best regards,
> 
> RFC Editor/jm
> 
> 
> 
> On 4/21/21 10:15 PM, Tengfei Chang wrote:
>> Hi Jean,
>> 
>> I replied inline:
>> 
>> On Thu, Apr 22, 2021 at 12:32 AM Jean Mahoney <jmahoney@amsl.com <mailto:jmahoney@amsl.com>> wrote:
>> Tengfei, Mališa, Diego, Xavi, and Pascal,
>> 
>> Thank you for your quick responses! We have updated the document based on your feedback, and we have a few more questions below:
>> 
>>    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9033.txt <https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9033.txt>
>>    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9033.pdf <https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9033.pdf>
>>    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9033.html <https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9033.html>
>>    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9033.xml <https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9033.xml>
>>    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9033-lastrfcdiff.html <https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9033-lastrfcdiff.html> (these changes side by side)
>>    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9033-auth48diff.html <https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9033-auth48diff.html> (changes made during AUTH48) 
>>    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9033-diff.html <https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9033-diff.html> (all changes made to the text)
>>    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9033-xmldiff.html <https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9033-xmldiff.html> (all changes made to the XML) 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> Tengfei, would you like to update your email address in the document? It is currently tengfei.chang@inria.fr <mailto:tengfei.chang@inria.fr>.
>> 
>> 
>> TC: Thanks for pointing this out. The email will not be available in a few months, could you change to tengfei.chang@gmail.com <mailto:tengfei.chang@gmail.com> for me? Thanks! 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> May we expand the 6TiSCH acronym in the abstract?
>> 
>> Current:
>>    This specification defines the 6TiSCH Minimal Scheduling Function
>>    (MSF).  
>> 
>> Perhaps:
>>    This specification defines the "IPv6 over the TSCH mode of 
>>    IEEE 802.15.4e" (6TiSCH) Minimal Scheduling Function (MSF). 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>>  TC: Yes, you may. 
>> 
>>   OLD:
>>    This specification defines the 6TiSCH Minimal Scheduling Function
>>    (MSF). 
>> 
>> NEW:
>>    This specification defines the "IPv6 over the TSCH mode of
>>    IEEE 802.15.4e" (6TiSCH) Minimal Scheduling Function (MSF).  
>> 
>> In Section 5.1, the hyperlinked "Step 2" in the following sentence goes to numbered item "2.  When the value of NumCellsElapsed reaches MAX_NUM_CELLS:"
>> 
>>        *  Reset both NumCellsElapsed and NumCellsUsed to 0 and go to
>>           Step 2.
>> 
>> Should it instead go to Section 4.3 ("Step 2 - Receiving EBs")? If the link is correct (go to #2), then perhaps it should be 
>> rephrased as "restart #2"?
>> 
>>        *  Reset both NumCellsElapsed and NumCellsUsed to 0 and restart 
>>           #2.
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> TC: Go to #2 is correct. Just to clarify, #2 indicates this sentence: When the value of NumCellsElapsed reaches MAX_NUM_CELLS:
>> 
>>   OLD:
>> Reset both NumCellsElapsed and NumCellsUsed to 0 and go to
>>           #2.  
>> 
>> NEW:
>>    Reset both NumCellsElapsed and NumCellsUsed to 0 and restart
>>           #2.  
>>  
>> 
>> May we move the following citation tag in Section 8 to improve readability?
>> 
>> Current:
>>    If [IEEE802154] transmissions are observed ...
>> 
>> Perhaps:
>>    If transmissions that rely on [IEEE802154] are observed ... or
>>    If transmissions that rely on LR-WPANs [IEEE802154] are observed ...
>> 
>> 
>> TC:  Yes, you may. I think the first choice is good. IEEE802154 already indicates it's for LR-WPANs.
>> 
>>   OLD:
>>    If [IEEE802154] transmissions are observed ...
>> 
>> NEW:
>>    If transmissions that rely on [IEEE802154] are observed ... 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> And one more question inline marked with [JM] --
>> 
>> 
>> TC: Sorry I missed that one. The comment 6) also pointed to the same sentence and my response is nearly the same as JM suggested :-) 
>> Please use JM's suggestion here.
>> 
>> OLD:  
>>                                 The node receives a valid frame from the parent.
>>                                 The counter increments only when the frame is a valid [IEEE802.15.4] frame.
>> NEW:
>> The counter increments only when a valid frame per [IEEE802.15.4] is received by the node from its parent. 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> On 4/21/21 4:15 AM, Tengfei Chang wrote:
>>> Dear all,
>>> 
>>> Thanks for the quick responses!
>>> 
>>> Dear RFC editor,  
>>> 
>>> Thanks for editing the document!
>>> I have response each questions inline below starting with TC: (in bold and Italic) 
>>> 
>>> Please let me know if there are any further questions regarding to the document.
>>> Thanks!
>>> 
>>> Tengfei
>>> 
>>> On Wed, Apr 21, 2021 at 2:49 PM <rfc-editor@rfc-editor.org <mailto:rfc-editor@rfc-editor.org>> wrote:
>>> Authors,
>>> 
>>> While reviewing this document during AUTH48, please resolve (as necessary) the following questions, which are also in the XML file.
>>> 
>>> 1) <!-- [rfced] We note that the sortRefs attribute is missing in 
>>> rfc element. Would you like the citations in the References sorted
>>> alphabetically or by first use in the document? 
>>> -->
>>> 
>>>  TC: We would like the citations in the References sorted alphabetically. Thanks!
>>> 
>>> 2) <!--[rfced] Mališa, do you prefer that your name appear as
>>> "Malisa Vucinic" or "Mališa Vučinić" in this document (and other 
>>> documents in this cluster)? We note the latter appears on this page:
>>> https://datatracker.ietf.org/person/Mali%C5%A1a%20Vu%C4%8Dini%C4%87 <https://datatracker.ietf.org/person/Mali%C5%A1a%20Vu%C4%8Dini%C4%87>
>>> -->
>>> 
>>>  TC: please refer to Malisa's response.
>>> 
>>> 3) <!-- [rfced] Please insert any keywords (beyond those that appear 
>>> in the title) for use on https://www.rfc-editor.org/search <https://www.rfc-editor.org/search>. 
>>> -->
>>> 
>>>  TC: please insert the following keywords, thanks!
>>> 
>>> TSCH, communication schedule, 6P
>>> 
>>> 4) <!-- [rfced] Does the following improve the readability of
>>>  the sentence?
>>> 
>>> Current:
>>>    In case of a slot to transmit or receive, a channel is
>>>    assigned to the time slot.  
>>> 
>>> Perhaps:
>>>    For time slots for transmitting or receiving, a channel is
>>>    assigned to the time slot.  
>>> -->
>>> 
>>> TC: Yes, please use the rephrased sentence: 
>>> 
>>> OLD:
>>>    In case of a slot to transmit or receive, a channel is
>>>    assigned to the time slot. 
>>> 
>>> NEW:
>>>    For time slots for transmitting or receiving, a channel is
>>>    assigned to the time slot.    
>>> 
>>> 5) <!-- [rfced]  We are having difficulty parsing the following:
>>> 
>>> Current:
>>>    For interoperability purposes, the values of those parameters 
>>>    can be referred from Appendix A.
>>> 
>>> Purhaps:
>>>    For interoperability purposes, Appendix A provides guidance
>>>    on calculating the values of those parameters. 
>>> -->
>>> 
>>> TC: Please apply the following changes. The parameters' values are not calculated but arbitrary values, which are defined in Appendix A. 
>>> So that two different implementations of MSF can interoperate by agreeing on same parameters values.
>>> 
>>> OLD:
>>>    For interoperability purposes, the values of those parameters
>>>    can be referred from Appendix A.
>>> 
>>> NEW:
>>>    For interoperability purposes, Appendix A provides the reference values of those parameters. 
>>> 
>>> 6) <!-- [rfced] Please consider rephrasing to make this more precise.
>>> -->
>>> 
>>> TC: It's rephrased as following.
>>> OLD:  
>>>                                 The node receives a valid frame from the parent.
>>>                                 The counter increments only when the frame is a valid [IEEE802.15.4] frame.
>>> NEW:
>>> The counter increments, only when a valid [IEEE802.15.4] frame is received by the node form its parent. 
>>> 
>> [JM]  We have incorporated the new text but have moved the citation tag to improve readability. Please let us know if any other changes are necessary.
>> 
>>    The counter increments only when a valid frame per [IEEE802154] 
>>    is received by the node from its parent.
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> Best regards,
>> 
>> RFC Editor/jm
>> 
>> 
>> 
>>> 7) <!-- [rfced] We are having difficulty parsing this passage.
>>> Specifically, may the first sentence be rephrased as follows?
>>> And, in the later sentence, should "absolved" be "alleviated"?
>>> 
>>> Current:
>>>    The 6P traffic overhead using a larger value of MAX_NUM_CELLS could 
>>>    be reduced as well... The latency caused by slight changes of traffic 
>>>    load can be absolved by the additional scheduled cells.
>>> 
>>> Perhaps:
>>>    By using a larger value of MAX_NUM_CELLS, the 6P traffic overhead could 
>>>    be reduced as well... The latency caused by slight changes of traffic 
>>>    load can be alleviated by the additional scheduled cells.  
>>> -->
>>> 
>>> TC: The suggested sentence read good.
>>> 
>>>   OLD:
>>>    The 6P traffic overhead using a larger value of MAX_NUM_CELLS could
>>>    be reduced as well... The latency caused by slight changes of traffic
>>>    load can be absolved by the additional scheduled cells.
>>> 
>>> NEW:
>>>    By using a larger value of MAX_NUM_CELLS, the 6P traffic overhead could
>>>    be reduced as well... The latency caused by slight changes of traffic
>>>    load can be alleviated by the additional scheduled cells.   
>>>  
>>> 
>>> 8) <!-- [rfced]  FYI, we have applied superscript formatting to the following.
>>> Please let us know if you would like to add a space on either side of the
>>> operators to improve readability.
>>> 
>>> Current:
>>>    ((2^MAXBE)-1)*MAXRETRIES*SLOTFRAME_LENGTH
>>> 
>>> Perhaps:
>>>    ((2^MAXBE) - 1) * MAXRETRIES * SLOTFRAME_LENGTH
>>> -->
>>> 
>>> TC: We prefer add a space on  either side  of the operators to improve readability.
>>> 
>>> OLD:
>>>   ((2^MAXBE)-1)*MAXRETRIES*SLOTFRAME_LENGTH  
>>> 
>>> NEW: 
>>>   ((2^MAXBE) - 1) * MAXRETRIES * SLOTFRAME_LENGTH
>>> 
>>> 9) <!--[rfced] FYI, we have updated this reference as follows, as the DOI
>>> provided in the original is not functional, and it seems your intention
>>> was to refer to IEEE 802.15.4-2015. (Please note that it was 
>>> "Superseded by IEEE Std 802.15.4-2020" as detailed at the provided URL.)
>>> 
>>> Please review and let us know any updates; we will follow up 
>>> on this topic as this reference appears in several documents 
>>> in this cluster (C310).
>>> 
>>> Original:
>>>    [IEEE802154]
>>>               IEEE standard for Information Technology, "IEEE Std                                   
>>>               802.15.4 Standard for Low-Rate Wireless Personal Area                                 
>>>               Networks (WPANs)", DOI 10.1109/IEEE P802.15.4-REVd/D01,
>>>               <http://ieeexplore.ieee.org/document/7460875/ <http://ieeexplore.ieee.org/document/7460875/>>.
>>> 
>>> Current:
>>>    [IEEE802154]
>>>               IEEE, "IEEE Standard for Low-Rate Wireless Networks", IEEE
>>>               Standard 802.15.4-2015, DOI 10.1109/IEEESTD.2016.7460875,
>>>               April 2016,
>>>               <https://ieeexplore.ieee.org/document/7460875 <https://ieeexplore.ieee.org/document/7460875>>.
>>> -->
>>> 
>>> TC: Thanks for updating the link. We prefer to use the IEEE 802.15.4-2015, which are referred during developing MSF.
>>> 
>>> 10) <!-- [rfced]  In the appendix, the term "mote" is used instead of "node".
>>> Is this intentional?
>>> -->
>>> 
>>> TC: No. Please replace "mote" by "node".
>>> 
>>> OLD:  
>>> String s is replaced by the mote EUI-64 address. The characters of the string, c0 through c7, are the eight bytes of the EUI-64 address.
>>> NEW: 
>>> String s is replaced by the node EUI-64 address. The characters of the string, c0 through c7, are the eight bytes of the EUI-64 address.
>>> 
>>> OLD: 
>>> The appropriate values of l_bit and r_bit could vary depending on the set of motes' EUI-64 address.
>>> NEW: 
>>> The appropriate values of l_bit and r_bit could vary depending on the set of nodes' EUI-64 address.
>>> 
>>> 11) <!-- [rfced] FYI, we have updated the formatting of the Contributors
>>> section to use <contact/> elements:
>>> 
>>> Original:
>>>    *  Beshr Al Nahas (Chalmers University, beshr@chalmers.se <mailto:beshr@chalmers.se>)
>>>    *  Olaf Landsiedel (Chalmers University, olafl@chalmers.se <mailto:olafl@chalmers.se>)
>>>    *  Yasuyuki Tanaka (Inria-Paris, yasuyuki.tanaka@inria.fr <mailto:yasuyuki.tanaka@inria.fr>)
>>> 
>>> Current:
>>>    Beshr Al Nahas
>>>    Chalmers University
>>> 
>>>    Email: beshr@chalmers.se <mailto:beshr@chalmers.se>
>>> 
>>> 
>>>    Olaf Landsiedel
>>>    Chalmers University
>>> 
>>>    Email: olafl@chalmers.se <mailto:olafl@chalmers.se>
>>> 
>>> 
>>>    Yasuyuki Tanaka
>>>    Inria-Paris
>>> 
>>>    Email: yasuyuki.tanaka@inria.fr <mailto:yasuyuki.tanaka@inria.fr>
>>> -->
>>> 
>>> TC: This looks good! Also please update the following contact info
>>> 
>>> OLD: 
>>> 
>>>    Yasuyuki Tanaka 
>>>    Inria-Paris
>>> 
>>>    Email: yasuyuki.tanaka@inria.fr <mailto:yasuyuki.tanaka@inria.fr>
>>> 
>>> NEW: 
>>> 
>>>    Yasuyuki Tanaka
>>>    Toshiba
>>> 
>>>    Email: yatch1.tanaka@toshiba.co.jp <mailto:yatch1.tanaka@toshiba.co.jp>
>>> 
>>> Thank you.
>>> 
>>> RFC Editor/jm/ar
>>> 
>>> 
>>> On Apr 20, 2021, rfc-editor@rfc-editor.org <mailto:rfc-editor@rfc-editor.org> wrote:
>>> 
>>> *****IMPORTANT*****
>>> 
>>> Updated 2021/04/20
>>> 
>>> RFC Author(s):
>>> --------------
>>> 
>>> Instructions for Completing AUTH48
>>> 
>>> Your document has now entered AUTH48.  Once it has been reviewed and 
>>> approved by you and all coauthors, it will be published as an RFC.  
>>> If an author is no longer available, there are several remedies 
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>>> Thank you for your cooperation,
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>>> RFC Editor
>>> 
>>> --------------------------------------
>>> RFC9033 (draft-ietf-6tisch-msf-18)
>>> 
>>> Title            : 6TiSCH Minimal Scheduling Function (MSF)
>>> Author(s)        : T. Chang, Ed., M. Vucinic, X. Vilajosana, S. Duquennoy, D. Dujovne
>>> WG Chair(s)      : Pascal Thubert, Thomas Watteyne
>>> Area Director(s) : Erik Kline, Éric Vyncke
>>> 
>>> 
>>> 
>>> -- 
>>> ——————————————————————————————————————
>>> Stay healthy, stay optimistic!
>>> 
>>> Dr. Tengfei, Chang
>>> Postdoctoral Research Engineer, Inria
>>> 
>>> www.tchang.org/ <http://www.tchang.org/>
>>> ——————————————————————————————————————
>>> 
>>> 
>> 
>> 
>> -- 
>> ——————————————————————————————————————
>> Stay healthy, stay optimistic!
>> 
>> Dr. Tengfei, Chang
>> Postdoctoral Research Engineer, Inria
>> 
>> www.tchang.org/ <http://www.tchang.org/>
>> ——————————————————————————————————————
> 
> 
> -- 
> ——————————————————————————————————————
> Stay healthy, stay optimistic!
> 
> Dr. Tengfei, Chang
> Postdoctoral Research Engineer, Inria
> 
> www.tchang.org/ <http://www.tchang.org/>
> ——————————————————————————————————————
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> 
> -- 
> Dr. Xavier Vilajosana
> Wireless Networks Lab
> Internet Interdisciplinary Institute (IN3)
> Professor
> (+34) 646 633 681
> xvilajosana@uoc.edu <mailto:usuari@uoc.edu>
> http://xvilajosana.org <http://xvilajosana.org/>
> http://wine.rdi.uoc.edu <http://wine.rdi.uoc.edu/>
> Parc Mediterrani de la Tecnologia 
> Av Carl Friedrich Gauss 5, B3 Building
> 08860 Castelldefels (Barcelona). Catalonia. Spain
>   
> 
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