Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9521 <draft-ietf-nvo3-bfd-geneve-13> for your review

[Greg Mirsky <[e-mail]>]

Hi Xiao Min,
thank you for putting a light on this. I find two occurrences of
 If the BFD packet is received with a Your Discriminator equals to 0 ...
I agree with you (apologies for the confusion my earlier response could
have caused) that in the current form s/equals/equal/ is appropriate. But
it could be that the whole passage is a bit too terse. Perhaps the
following text may be used:
NEW TEXT:
  If the BFD packet is received with the value of the Your Discriminator
field 0 ...

That update can be applied to both occasions of the text. WDYT?

Regards,
Greg

On Mon, Dec 18, 2023 at 5:09 PM <[e-mail]> wrote:

> Hi Megan,
>
>
> Thank you for the revision.
>
> Considering the one rejected change, I propose one more editorial change
> as below.
>
> Section #5.1
> OLD:
> a Your Discriminator equals to 0
> NEW:
> a Your Discriminator equal to 0
>
>
> Cheers,
>
> Xiao Min
> Original
> *From: *MeganFerguson <[e-mail]>
> *To: *肖敏10093570;Greg Mirsky <[e-mail]>;
> *Cc: *[e-mail] <[e-mail]>;
> [e-mail] <[e-mail]>;
> [e-mail] <[e-mail]>;[e-mail] <
> [e-mail]>;[e-mail] <[e-mail]>;
> [e-mail] <[e-mail]>;[e-mail] <
> [e-mail]>;[e-mail] <[e-mail]
> >;[e-mail] <[e-mail]>;
> *Date: *2023年12月19日 05:38
> *Subject: **Re: AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9521 <draft-ietf-nvo3-bfd-geneve-13>
> for your review*
> Xiao and Greg,
>
>
> Thank you for your replies. We have updated the document as requested with the exception of the following:
>
> > Section #4.1
> > OLD:
> > a Your Discriminator equal to 0
> > NEW:
> > a Your Discriminator equals to 0
> >
> >
>
> Please review this request as the suggested text introduces a subject/verb agreement error.
>
>
> We have posted the updated files below.  Please review carefully as we do not make updates once the document is published as an RFC.
>
> The files have been posted here (please refresh):
>    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9521.txt
>    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9521.pdf
>    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9521.html
>    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9521.xml
>
> The relevant diff files have been posted here (please refresh):
>    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9521-diff.html
>  (comprehensive diff)
>    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9521-auth48diff.html
>  (AUTH48 changes only)
>
> Please contact us with any further updates/questions/comments you may have.
>
>
> We will await approvals from each of the parties listed on the AUTH48 status page prior to moving forward to publication.
>
>
> The AUTH48 status page for this document is available here:
>
> https://www.rfc-editor.org/auth48/rfc9521
>
> Thank you.
>
> RFC Editor/mf
>
> > On Dec 18, 2023, at 1:29 AM, [e-mail] wrote:
> >
> > Dear RFC Editor,
> >
> >
> >
> > Thanks for your efforts.
>
> > Please see inline my answers to your questions and several proposed editorial changes.
> >
> > Original
> > From: [e-mail] <[e-mail]>
> > To: 肖敏10093570;[e-mail] <[e-mail]>;
> [e-mail] <[e-mail]>;
> [e-mail] <[e-mail]>;[e-mail] <
> [e-mail]>;
> > Cc: [e-mail] <[e-mail]>;
> [e-mail] <[e-mail]>;[e-mail] <
> [e-mail]>;[e-mail] <[e-mail]
> >;[e-mail] <[e-mail]>;
> [e-mail] <[e-mail]>;
> > Date: 2023年12月16日 01:10
>
> > Subject: Re: AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9521 <draft-ietf-nvo3-bfd-geneve-13> for your review
> > Authors,
> >
>
> > While reviewing this document during AUTH48, please resolve (as necessary) the following questions, which are also in the XML file.
> >
> > 1) <!-- [rfced] Please note that the title of the document has been
> >      updated as follows:
> >
> > Abbreviations have been expanded per Section 3.6 of RFC 7322 ("RFC
> > Style Guide"). Please review.
> >
> > Original:
> > BFD for Geneve
> >
> > Current:
> > Bidirectional Forwarding Detection (BFD) for Generic Network
> > Virtualization Encapsulation (Geneve)
> > -->
> > [XM]>>> Agreed.
> >
> > 2) <!-- [rfced] Please insert any keywords (beyond those that appear in
> >      the title) for use on https://www.rfc-editor.org/search. -->
> > [XM]>>> NVE, VAP, VNI.
> >
> > 3) <!--[rfced] For clarity, may we rephrase the run-on sentence below?
> >
> > Original:
> > This document supports establishing multiple BFD sessions between the
> > same pair of NVEs, each BFD session over a pair of VAPs residing in
> > the same pair of NVEs, there SHOULD be a mechanism to control the
> > maximum number of such sessions that can be active at the same time.
> >
> > Perhaps:
> > This document supports establishing multiple BFD sessions between the
> > same pair of NVEs.  For each BFD session over a pair of VAPs residing
> > in the same pair of NVEs, there SHOULD be a mechanism to control the
> > maximum number of such sessions that can be active at the same time.
> > -->
> > [XM]>>> Agreed.
> >
> > 4) <!-- [rfced] We see a number of uses of the "/" character separating
> >      terms in this document.  Please review and let us know if we
> >      should adjust any of these instances to "and/or", "and", or "or"
> >      for clarity and ease of the reader.
> > -->
>
> > [XM]>>> I don't see a need to adjust any of them. I believe it's common to say Ethernet/IP/UDP, Ethernet/IP, IP/UDP, etc.
> >
> > 5) <!-- [rfced] Please review the "Inclusive Language" portion of the
> >      online Style Guide
> >      <https://www.rfc-editor.org/styleguide/part2/#inclusive_language>
> >      and let us know if any changes are needed.
> >
> > Note that our script did not flag any words in particular, but this
> > should still be reviewed as a best practice.
> > -->
> > [XM]>>> I don't see a need for any changes. Thank you for the reminder.
> >
> >
>
> > [XM]>>> Besides the above answers to your questions, I propose a few editorial changes as below.
> >
> > Section #1
> > OLD:
> > For simplicity, NVE is used
> > NEW:
> > For simplicity, a NVE is used
> >
> > Section #4
> > OLD:
> > TTL or Hop Limit:  These MUST be set to 255
> > NEW:
>
> > TTL or Hop Limit:  The TTL for IPv4 or Hop Limit for IPv6 MUST be set to 255
> >
> > Section #4
> > OLD:
> > Geneve specification [RFC8926] depending on
> > NEW:
> > Geneve specification ([RFC8926]) depending on
> >
> > Section #4.1
> > OLD:
> > N-to-1 mapping between a VAP and a VNI
> > NEW:
> > N-to-1 mapping between VAPs and VNIs
> >
> >
> >
> > Section #5
> > OLD:
> > TTL or Hop Limit:  These MUST be set to 255
> > NEW:
>
> > TTL or Hop Limit:  The TTL for IPv4 or Hop Limit for IPv6 MUST be set to 255
> >
> >
> >
> > Best Regards,
> >
> > Xiao Min
> >
> >
> >
> > Thank you.
> >
> > RFC Editor/kf/mf
> >
> > *****IMPORTANT*****
> >
> > Updated 2023/12/15
> >
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> > Files
> > -----
> >
> > The files are available here:
> >    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9521.xml
> >    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9521.html
> >    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9521.pdf
> >    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9521.txt
> >
> > Diff file of the text:
> >    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9521-diff.html
> >    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9521-rfcdiff.html
>  (side by side)
> >
> > Diff of the XML:
> >    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9521-xmldiff1.html
> >
> > The following files are provided to facilitate creation of your own
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> >
> > Initial XMLv3 created using XMLv2 as input:
> >    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9521.original.v2v3.xml
> >
> > XMLv3 file that is a best effort to capture v3-related format updates
> > only:
> >    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9521.form.xml
> >
> >
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> > -----------------
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> > RFC Editor
> >
> > --------------------------------------
> > RFC9521 (draft-ietf-nvo3-bfd-geneve-13)
> >
> > Title            : BFD for Geneve
>
> > Author(s)        : X. Min, G. Mirsky, S. Pallagatti, J. Tantsura, S. Aldrin
> > WG Chair(s)      : Matthew Bocci, Sam Aldrin
> > Area Director(s) : Alvaro Retana, John Scudder, Andrew Alston
> >
> >
> >
>
>
>