Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9453 <draft-ietf-6lo-use-cases-16> for your review

[Yong-Geun Hong <[e-mail]>]

Dear Sandy Ginoza.

Thanks again for your efforts.

 I added my response in lines.

Best regards.

Yong-Geun.


2023년 8월 24일 (목) 오전 1:25, Sandy Ginoza <[e-mail]>님이 작성:

> Greetings Yong-Geun,
>
> Thank you for your review and detailed reply.  We have updated the
> document and have a few remaining questions below.  The current files are
> available here:
>
>    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9453.xml
>    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9453.txt
>    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9453.pdf
>    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9453.html
>
> AUTH48 diff (highlighting changes since the document entered AUTH48):
>    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9453-auth48diff.html
>
> Comprehensive diffs:
>    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9453-diff.html
>    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9453-rfcdiff.html
>
> An alternative comprehensive diff - this version will allow you to view
> changes in the Acknowledgements more easily:
>    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9453-alt-diff.html
>
>
> Open items:
>
> 1) We mistakenly did not include this in our original set of questions.
> For readability, may we update the following?
>
>
> Original:
>
>    A user may turn on/off or may control home
>
>    appliances by pressing a wall switch or by pressing a button in a
>
>    remote control.
>
>
> Perhaps:
>
>    A user may turn home appliances on and off, or the user may control
> them
>    by pressing a wall switch or a button on a
>
>    remote control.
>
> [Yong-Geun]  Thanks for the update. Agreed.

>
> 2) Regarding table 2, thank you for your suggested updates.
> Unfortunately, some of the hyphenation did not display as desired in all of
> the outputs (i.e., the hyphenation breaks in the text were different from
> those in the html).  Please review our updates to Table 2 and let us know
> if you have concerns with the current format and use of abbreviations
> (e.g., Tx is used for transmission; we removed the brackets from RFCs
> (seems reasonable because they are all referenced elsewhere in the
> document).
>

[Yong-Geun]  Thanks for the update. It looks better and simpler.
                     One question.  As it changed from 'Automation' to
'Autom.', how about changing from "Requirement" to "Req." ?

>
>
> Thank you,
> RFC Editor/sg
>
>
>
>
> > On Aug 18, 2023, at 11:04 PM, Yong-Geun Hong <[e-mail]>
> wrote:
> >
> > Dear RFC Editor.
> >
> > Thanks for your efforts to publish RFC 9453.
> >
> > I add my response in lines.
> >
> > Best regards.
> >
> > Yong-Geun.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >> 보낸 사람: [e-mail]
> >> 날짜: 2023년 8월 8일 오후 4시 31분 32초 GMT+9
> >> 받는 사람: [e-mail], [e-mail], [e-mail],
> [e-mail], [e-mail]
> >> 참조: [e-mail], [e-mail], [e-mail],
> [e-mail], [e-mail],
> [e-mail]
> >> 제목: Re: AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9453 <draft-ietf-6lo-use-cases-16> for your
> review
> >>
> >> Authors,
> >>
> >> While reviewing this document during AUTH48, please resolve (as
> necessary)
> >> the following questions, which are also in the XML file.
> >>
> >> 1) <!-- [rfced] For readability, we would like to flip the order of the
> >> title.  In addition, to match the 6lo Working Group's wording (see
> >> https://datatracker.ietf.org/wg/6lo/charter/), should the title be
> updated
> >> as follows?  Please review.
> >>
> >> Note that this update would also affect terminology in the abstract.
> >>
> >> Original:
> >> IPv6 over Constrained Node Networks (6lo) Applicability & Use cases
> >>
> >> Perhaps:
> >> Applicability and Use Cases for IPv6 over Networks of
> Resource-constrained Nodes (6lo)
> >> -->
> > [Yong-Geun] Agreed.
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >> 2) <!-- [rfced] Please insert any keywords (beyond those that appear in
> the
> >> title) for use on https://www.rfc-editor.org/search.
> >> -->
> > [Yong-Geun]  It seems that the updated title is enough.
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >> 3) <!-- [rfced] Should this list of design space dimensions be
> capitalized
> >> as they are in Appendix A, or may we lowecase the dimensions in
> Appendix A?
> >> In addition, we note that Security Level does not appear in the list in
> >> Appendix A; should it be added to match the list in section 1?
> >>
> >> Original:
> >>   In addition, it considers various network design space
> >>   dimensions such as deployment, network size, power source,
> >>   connectivity, multi-hop communication, traffic pattern, security
> >>   level, mobility, and QoS requirements (see Appendix A).
> >>
> >> Original from Appendix A:
> >>   In [RFC6568], the following design space dimensions are described:
> >>   Deployment, Network size, Power source, Connectivity, Multi-hop
> >>   communication, Traffic pattern, Mobility, Quality of Service (QoS).
> >> -->
> > [Yong-Geun]  Agree to modify the list of design space dimensions to be
> capitalized in Appendix A.
> >                       I propose to delete “Security Level”.
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >> 4) <!-- [rfced] May we expand SIG as Special Interest Group?
> >>
> >> Original:
> >>   The Bluetooth
> >>   SIG has also published the Internet Protocol Support Profile (IPSP).
> >>
> >> Perhaps (which matches what appears in RFC 9159):
> >>   The Bluetooth Special Interest Group (Bluetooth SIG) has also
> published
> >>   the Internet Protocol Support Profile (IPSP).
> >> -->
> > [Yong-Geun] Agreed.
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >> 5) <!-- [rfced] Did you intend to include references for ISO/IEC 14443
> A&B
> >> and JIS-X 6319-4?  If yes, please provide us with the reference
> information
> >> or pointers to the reference information.
> >>
> >> Original:
> >>   NFC complements many popular consumer-level wireless
> >>   technologies, by utilizing the key elements in existing standards for
> >>   contactless card technology (ISO/IEC 14443 A&B and JIS-X 6319-4).
> >> -->
> > [Yong-Geun] The reference for ISO/IEC 14443 A&B and JIS-X 6319-4 is not
> necessary in this draft. So proposed the expression of ISO/IEC 14443 A&B
> and JIS-X 6319-4
> >
> > --> Proposal:
> >   NFC complements many popular consumer-level wireless
> >   technologies, by utilizing the key elements in existing standards for
> >   contactless card technology.
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >> 6) <!-- [rfced] We have the following questions related to Table 2.
> >>
> >> a) Table 2 exceeds the 72-character line limit by 5 characters. We are
> reviewing possible ways to trim the length of the table.  Please let us
> know if you have any suggestions.
> >>
> >> b) Please confirm that the reference to RFC 7428 is correct. We ask
> because
> >> we do not see mention of Z-Wave, Home Automation, L2-mesh, or L3-mesh.
> >> -->
> > [Yong-Geun] Make the table 2 shorter under 72-character. Please find the
> attached XML file
> > [Yong-Geun] The reference to RFC 7428 is correct because RFC 7428
> (Transmission of IPv6 Packets over ITU-T G.9959 Networks) is related to
> ITU-T G.9959 Networks and the ITU-T G.9959 is one of protocol for Z-wave.
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >> 7) <!-- [rfced] "IPv6 address" is seemingly redundant.  May we update
> the
> >> text as follows?
> >>
> >> Original:
> >>      For MAC-derived IPv6 addresses, please
> >>      refer to [RFC8163] for IPv6 address mapping examples.
> >>
> >> Perhaps:
> >>      For MAC-derived IPv6 addresses, refer to [RFC8163] for mapping
> >>      examples.
> >> -->
> > [Yong-Geun] Agreed.
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >> 8) <!-- [rfced] For clarity and ease of the reader, may we update the
> text
> >> as follows?
> >>
> >> Original:
> >>      The 6LoWPAN node should
> >>      also support [RFC8505] and use it as the default Neighbor
> >>      Discovery method.
> >>
> >> Perhaps:
> >>      The 6LoWPAN node should
> >>      also support the registration extensions defined in [RFC8505] and
> >>      use the mechanism as the default Neighbor Discovery method.
> >> -->
> > [Yong-Geun] Agreed.
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >> 9) <!-- [rfced] May we update the expansion for AP-ND to match what
> appears
> >> in RFC 8929, which expands it as "Address-Protected Neighbor
> Discovery"?
> >>
> >> Original:
> >>      Address Protection for 6LoWPAN
> >>      Neighbor Discovery (AP-ND) [RFC8928] enables Source Address
> >>      Validation [RFC6620] and protects the address ownership against
> >>      impersonation attacks.
> >> -->
> > [Yong-Geun] Agreed.
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >> 10) <!-- [rfced] Is "objective function" needed here?  It seems
> redundant
> >> with the expansion of MRHOF.
> >>
> >> Original:
> >>   Note
> >>   that the L3 routing in Netricity uses RPL in non-storing mode with
> >>   the MRHOF (Minimum Rank with Hysteresis Objective Function) objective
> >>   function based on their own defined Estimated Transmission Time (ETT)
> >>   metric.
> >> -->
> > [Yong-Geun] Agreed and proposed to delete ‘objective function’.
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >> 11) <!-- [rfced] For readability, may we update "enjoys the advantage
> of"
> >> to "benefits from"? Or is there another way we may update?
> >>
> >> Original:
> >>   Although other wired and wireless technologies are also used in Smart
> >>   Grid, PLC enjoys the advantage of reliable data communication over
> >>   electrical power lines that are already present, and the deployment
> >>   cost can be comparable to wireless technologies.
> >>
> >> Perhaps:
> >>   Although other wired and wireless technologies are also used in a
> >>   smart grid, PLC benefits from reliable data
> >>   communication over electrical power lines that are already present,
> >>   and the deployment cost can be comparable to wireless technologies.
> >> -->
> > [Yong-Geun] Agreed.
> >>
> >>
> >> 12) <!-- [rfced] We have the following questions related to references.
> >>
> >> a) Would you like to update the reference [BACnet] reference to the most
> >> recent version from 2020?
> >>
> >> Current:
> >>   [BACnet]   ASHRAE, "BACnet-A Data Communication Protocol for Building
> >>              Automation and Control Networks (ANSI Approved)", ANSI/
> >>              ASHRAE Standard 135-2016, January 2016,
> >>              <https://www.techstreet.com/ashrae/standards/ashrae-
> >>              135-2016?product_id=1918140#jumps>.
> >>
> > [Yong-Geun] Proposal :
> >                 [BACnet]   ASHRAE, "BACnet-A Data Communication Protocol
> for Building
> >                                Automation and Control Networks (ANSI
> Approved)", ANSI/
> >                               ASHRAE Standard 135-2020, Ja20, October
> 2020.
> >                              <
> https://www.techstreet.com/standards/ashrae-135-2020?product_id=2191852>.
> >
> >>
> >> b) For the specification [BTCorev4.1], would you like to update to the
> most
> >> recent version 5.4? Please review and let us know how/if we may update.
> >>
> >> Current:
> >>   [BTCorev4.1]
> >>              Bluetooth, "Core Specification Version 4.1", December
> >>              2013, <https://www.bluetooth.com/specifications/specs/
> >>              core-specification-4-1/>.
> > [Yong-Geun] Proposal:
> >                [BTCorev5.4]
> >                           Bluetooth, "Core Specification Version 5.4",
> January
> >                          2023, <
> https://www.bluetooth.com/specifications/specs/core-specification-5-4/>.
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >> c) The URL provided for [IPSP] directs to a page titled "Specifications
> and Documents", but there is no document named "Bluetooth Internet Protocol
> Support Profile Specification Version 1.0.0".  We are unable to locate a
> document with this title.  Please let us know how this entry should be
> updated.
> >>
> >>
> >> Original:
> >>   [IPSP]     Bluetooth Special Interest Group, "Bluetooth Internet
> >>              Protocol Support Profile Specification Version 1.0.0",
> >>              December 2014, <https://www.bluetooth.org/en-
> >>              us/specification/adopted-specifications>.>.
> >>
> >> perhaps the URL should be to <
> https://www.bluetooth.com/specifications/specs/> or
> >> <
> https://www.bluetooth.com/specifications/specs/internet-protocol-support-profile-1-0/>?
>
> >>
> > [Yong-Geun] Proposal:
> >
> >                [IPSP]     Bluetooth Special Interest Group, "Bluetooth
> Internet
> >                            Protocol Support Profile Specification
> Version 1.0.0",
> >                           December 2014, <
> https://www.bluetooth.com/specifications/specs/internet-protocol-support-profile-1-0/
> >.
> >>
> >> d) Would you like to update the provided URL for [LLCP-1.4] to the
> >> following to lead directly to the document?
> >>
> >> Original:
> >>   [LLCP-1.4] NFC Forum, "NFC Logical Link Control Protocol, Version
> >>              1.4", NFC Forum Technical Specification , January 2021,
> >>              <https://nfc-forum.org/build/specifications>.
> >>
> >> Perhaps:
> >>   [LLCP-1.4] NFC Forum, "Logical Link Control Protocol Technical
> >>              Specification", Version 1.4, December 2022,
> >>          <https://nfc-forum.org/build/specifications/logical-
> >>          link-control-protocol-technical-specification/>.
> >> -->
> > [Yong-Geun] Agreed.
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >> 13) <!-- [rfced] Please note that we have updated this sentence as
> follows.
> >> Please review and let us know if any corrections are needed.
> >>
> >> Original:
> >>   *  Buffering requirements: Some 6lo use case may require higher data
> >>      rate than the link layer technology support.
> >>
> >> Current:
> >>   Buffering Requirements:
> >>      Some 6lo use cases may require a higher data rate than the link-
> >>      layer technology supports.
> >> -->
> > [Yong-Geun] Agreed.
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >> 14) <!-- [rfced] We have the following terminology-related questions.
> >>
> >> a) We have updated the document to use "link-layer" (with a hyphen)
> where
> >> the terms are acting as an adjective appearing before the noun.
> >>
> >> Similarly, we have updated "constrained node" to "constrained-node"
> (with a
> >> hyphen).
> >>
> >> Please review and let us know if you have any concerns.
> > [Yong-Geun] Thanks for the update. Agreed.
> >>
> >>
> >> b) Throughout the text, the following acronyms are missing expansions.
> >> Please review and let us know if/how we may update. We provided
> possible
> >> expansions the right.
> >>
> >> GPRS - General Packet Radio Service or Ground Penetrating Radar Systems
> >> ISM - Industrial, Scientific, and Medical
> >> LV PLC networks - Low-Voltage PLC networks
> >>
> >> Do instances of Low, Medium, and High Voltage need to be capitalized?
> > [Yong-Geun] Proposal:
> >             GPRS - General Packet Radio Service
> >             ISM - Industrial, Scientific, and Medical
> >             LV PLC networks - Low-Voltage PLC networks
> >>
> >>
> >> c) FYI, for clarity, we added the following expansions to the provided
> >> acronyms. Please let us know of any objections.
> >>
> >> FDMA - Frequency-Division Multiplex
> >> TDMA - Time-Division Multiple Access
> >> TDD - Time-Division Duplex
> >> -->
> > [Yong-Geun] Thanks for the update. Agreed.
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >> 15) <!-- [rfced] Some author comments are present in the XML. Please
> >> confirm that no updates related to these comments are outstanding. Note
> >> that the comments will be deleted prior to publication.
> >> -->
> > [Yong-Geun] There are no updates related to these comments. It is
> appreciated to delete the comments.
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >> 16) <!-- [rfced] Please review the "Inclusive Language" portion of the
> >> online Style Guide <
> https://www.rfc-editor.org/styleguide/part2/#inclusive_language>
> >> and let us know if any changes are needed.
> >>
> >> For example, please consider whether the following should be updated:
> >>   Master
> >>   Slave
> > [Yong-Geun] The expression of ‘Master’ and ‘Slave’ is not inclusive
> language but is a technical word. I think it is O.K.
> >>
> >>
> >> In addition, some guides suggest avoiding "senior citizen" and
> recommend
> >> replacements such as "older adults" or "persons 65 years and older"
> (see
> >> information about "Age" in
> https://www.apa.org/about/apa/equity-diversity-inclusion/language-guidelines?_gl=1*w1b56*_ga*MTg0ODg5NzI0My4xNjkxNDc0OTI5*_ga_SZXLGDJGNB*MTY5MTQ3NDkyOS4xLjAuMTY5MTQ3NDkzNy4wLjAuMA..&_ga=2.202736337.1920239215.1691474929-1848897243.1691474929
> ).
> >> -->
> > [Yong-Geun]  I prefer the expression of ‘older adults” rather than
> ‘senior citizen’
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >> Thank you.
> >>
> >> RFC Editor
> >>
> >>
> >> On Aug 8, 2023, at 12:20 AM, [e-mail] wrote:
> >>
> >> *****IMPORTANT*****
> >>
> >> Updated 2023/08/08
> >>
> >> RFC Author(s):
> >> --------------
> >>
> >> Instructions for Completing AUTH48
> >>
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> >> Files
> >> -----
> >>
> >> The files are available here:
> >>   https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9453.xml
> >>   https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9453.html
> >>   https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9453.pdf
> >>   https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9453.txt
> >>
> >> Diff file of the text:
> >>   https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9453-diff.html
> >>   https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9453-rfcdiff.html (side by
> side)
> >>
> >> Diff of the XML:
> >>   https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9453-xmldiff1.html
> >>
> >> The following files are provided to facilitate creation of your own
> >> diff files of the XML.
> >>
> >> Initial XMLv3 created using XMLv2 as input:
> >>   https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9453.original.v2v3.xml
> >>
> >> XMLv3 file that is a best effort to capture v3-related format updates
> >> only:
> >>   https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9453.form.xml
> >>
> >>
> >> Tracking progress
> >> -----------------
> >>
> >> The details of the AUTH48 status of your document are here:
> >>   https://www.rfc-editor.org/auth48/rfc9453
> >>
> >> Please let us know if you have any questions.
> >>
> >> Thank you for your cooperation,
> >>
> >> RFC Editor
> >>
> >> --------------------------------------
> >> RFC9453 (draft-ietf-6lo-use-cases-16)
> >>
> >> Title            : IPv6 over Constrained Node Networks (6lo)
> Applicability & Use cases
> >> Author(s)        : Y. Hong, C. Gomez, Y. Choi, A. Sangi, S. Chakrabarti
> >> WG Chair(s)      : Shwetha Bhandari, Carles Gomez
> >>
> >> Area Director(s) : Erik Kline, Éric Vyncke
> >>
> >>
> >>
> > <draft-ietf-6lo-use-cases-16_Table2.xml>
>
>