Re: [Gen-art] (full) review of draft-ietf-imss-fc-fcsp-mib-02.txt

Keith,

If you can suggest the necessary edits using the OLD/NEW style, we can
already include them in the tracker write-up. Please also include
whatever edits resulted from my review.  The document will be placed for
approval on the agenda of the upcoming telechat which is scheduled for
7/3. 

Thanks and Regards,

Dan

> -----Original Message-----
> From: Keith McCloghrie [mailto:kzm@cisco.com] 
> Sent: Monday, June 23, 2008 3:10 PM
> To: Francis Dupont
> Cc: gen-art@ietf.org; cds@cisco.com; fmaino@cisco.com; 
> kzm@cisco.com; Romascanu, Dan (Dan)
> Subject: Re: (full) review of draft-ietf-imss-fc-fcsp-mib-02.txt
> 
> Thanks for your comments.  I'm impressed that you were still 
> awake enough to find typos on page 183 :-), and if they can 
> all be handled by the RFC Editor, that's better for me.  (I 
> expect others to "abuse" the Queen's English, but it's a 
> personal pain if I have to do so myself :-).
> 
> Keith.
>  
> > I have been selected as the General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) 
> > reviewer for this draft (for background on Gen-ART, please see 
> > http://www.alvestrand.no/ietf/gen/art/gen-art-FAQ.html).
> > 
> > Please resolve these comments along with any other Last 
> Call comments 
> > you may receive.
> > 
> > Document: draft-ietf-imss-fc-fcsp-mib-02.txt
> > Reviewer: Francis Dupont
> > Review Date: 2008-06-19
> > IETF LC End Date: 2008-06-19
> > IESG Telechat date: unknown
> > 
> > Summary: Ready
> > 
> > Comments: I've found only a low number of editorial (i.e., to be 
> > handled by the RFC Editor) problems (spelling errors, 
> typos, raw abbrevs, ...):
> > (I've put a '?' after suggestions/questionable items, MIB names are 
> > for  their descriptions)
> > 
> >  - ToC page 2: Acknowledgements -> Acknowledgments
> >   (i.e., US spelling, same in 7 page 232)
> > 
> >  - 1 page 3: IETF's -> IETF? (same in t11FcTcMIB page 27,
> >   t11FcSpAuthenticationMIB page 43, t11FcSpZoningMIB page 64,
> >   t11FcSpPolicyMIB page 77, t11FcSpSaMIB page 176, 7 page 232)
> > 
> >  - 3.2 page 11: HBAs -> Host Bus Adapters
> >   (usually abbrevs, including this one, should be 
> introduced by it is
> >    the only use)
> > 
> >  - 3.4.7 page 17: introduce abbrevs: SSB (Server Session Begin), SSE
> >   (Server Session End), SW_ILS (Switch Fabric Internal Link 
> Services);
> >   or extend them when they are used once in the introduction part:
> >   EACA -> Enhanced Acquire Change Authorization Request, ERCA ->
> >   Enhanced Release Change Authorization, SFC -> Stage Fabric 
> > Configuration
> > 
> >  - 4.9 page 25: the the -> the (and in 
> t11FcSpAuRejDirection page 58,
> >   don't believe you can get >240 pages without a typo :-)
> > 
> >  - 5 page 26: focussed -> focused?
> > 
> >  - t11FcSpAuIfStatOutAcceptedMsgs page 55: neighbouring -> 
> neighboring?
> >  
> >  - t11FcSpPoSwMembAuthBehaviour page 89: neighbour -> neighbor?
> >   (same in t11FcSpPoNaSwMembAuthBehaviour page 129
> > 
> >  - t11FcSpPoSwConnAllowedNameType page 99: portname -> portName
> > 
> >  - t11FcSpSaIfTerminateAllSas page 183: outsanding -> outstanding
> > 
> > Regards
> > 
> > Francis.Dupont@fdupont.fr
> > 
> 
> 
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