Re: [Gen-art] (full) review of draft-ietf-imss-fc-fcsp-mib-02.txt

[Keith McCloghrie <[e-mail]>]

Dan,

> If you can suggest the necessary edits using the OLD/NEW style, we can
> already include them in the tracker write-up. Please also include
> whatever edits resulted from my review.  The document will be placed for
> approval on the agenda of the upcoming telechat which is scheduled for
> 7/3. 
 
How about the below.

Thanks,
Keith.
===================

Insertion after the picture in section 3.4.4, on page 15:

  OLD:

  NEW:

    Note that the arrows in the picture above are used to indicate the
    movement of "data", rather than the direction of "messages", e.g.,
    for a "Get" (with no data) in one direction which invokes a
    "Response" (typically with data) in the reverse direction, the
    diagram has arrows only for the "with data" direction.

Line 4 on page 30:

  OLD:
           'stale' to this object is an error ('wrongValue')."

  NEW:
           'stale' to this object is an error (e.g., 'wrongValue')."

Near the bottom of page 67:

  OLD:
           is an error ('wrongValue')."

  NEW:
           is an error (e.g., 'wrongValue')."

At bottom of page 115:

  OLD:
           Writing any other value into this object is a
           ('wrongValue') error.
 
  NEW:
           Writing any other value into this object is an error
           (e.g., 'wrongValue').

Middle of page 121:
 
  OLD:
           or 'stale' to this object is a ('wrongValue') error."

  NEW:
           or 'stale' to this object is an error (e.g.,
           'wrongValue')."

In Reference section, for IPSP-IKE-ACTION on page 236:

  OLD:
         nn.txt, work-in-progress, October 2006.

  NEW:
         02.txt, work-in-progress, October 2006.

In references section, for IPSP-IPSEC-ACTION on page 236:

  OLD:
         nn.txt, work-in-progress, October 2006.

  NEW:
         02.txt, work-in-progress, October 2006.

Section 3.2, middle of page 11:

  OLD:

    Hard zoning and soft zoning are two different means of realizing
    this.  Hard zoning is enforced in the Fabric (i.e., Switches) whereas
    soft zoning is enforced at the endpoints (e.g., HBAs) by ...

  NEW:

    Hard zoning and soft zoning are two different means of realizing
    this.  Hard zoning is enforced in the Fabric (i.e., Switches) whereas
    soft zoning is enforced at the endpoints (e.g., Host Based Adapters)
    by ...

Title of section 7:

  OLD: 

     Acknowledgements

  NEW:

     Acknowledgements


In section 3.4.7, at bottom of page 17 through top of page 18:

  OLD:

    The Enhanced Commit Service [FC-SW-4] is used to perform Fabric
    operations as and when necessary (see table 144 of [FC-SP]).  Each
    server session begins and ends, with a SSB request and a SSE request
    respectively, sent ...

  NEW:

    The Enhanced Commit Service [FC-SW-4] is used to perform Fabric
    operations as and when necessary (see table 144 of [FC-SP]).
    Many of these operations are named as if they were acronyms,
    e.g.,  SSB for Server Session Begin; SSE for Server Session End;
    SW_ILS for Switch Fabric Internal Link Services; EACA for Enhanced
    Acquire Change Authorization; ERCA for Enhanced Release Change
    Authorization; SFC for Stage Fabric Configuration.

    Each server session begins and ends, with a SSB request and a SSE
    request respectively, sent ...

    
In Section 4.9, at bottom of page 25:

  OLD:
                                      ...  Note that while these
   suppressions prevent the the network being flooded with ...

  NEW:
                                      ...  Note that while these
   suppressions prevent the network being flooded with ...

Lines 3 & 4 on page 30:

  OLD:
                                                            ... of the
           the identified MIB objects. 

  NEW:
                                                            ... of the
           identified MIB objects. 


In t11FcSpAuRejDirection's DESCRIPTION, on page 58:

  OLD:
           "An indication of whether the the rejection was sent or
           received by the identified entity.

  NEW:
           "An indication of whether the rejection was sent or
           received by the identified entity.

On page 217:

  OLD:
           If the corresponding instance of t11FcSpSaTSelSpiDirection
           has the value 'egress', then this object contains the
           the value ...

  NEW:
           If the corresponding instance of t11FcSpSaTSelSpiDirection
           has the value 'egress', then this object contains the
           value ...

In t11FcSpPoSwConnAllowedNameType's DESCRIPTION, on page 99:

  OLD:
            - allowed by 'nodeName' and 'portname',

  NEW:
            - allowed by 'nodeName' and 'portName',

In t11FcSpSaIfTerminateAllSas's DESCRIPTION, on page 183:

  OLD:
           terminate all outsanding Security Associations on this

  NEW:
           terminate all outstanding Security Associations on this

Near bottom of page 89:

  OLD:
           between this Switch and neighbour Switches must be
  NEW:
           between this Switch and neighbo?r Switches must be

Middle of page 129:

  OLD:
           between this Switch and neighbour Switches must be
  NEW:
           between this Switch and neighbo?r Switches must be

Middle of page 54:

  OLD:
           neighbouring entity, i.e., not rejected by an AUTH_Reject
  NEW:
           neighbo?ring entity, i.e., not rejected by an AUTH_Reject


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