Re: [Detnet] WG Last Call: draft-ietf-detnet-mpls-oam-08

[Greg Mirsky <[e-mail]>]

Hi Ethan,
I would greatly appreciate it. I've attached the working version in TXT
format in case you need it.

Best regards,
Greg

On Wed, Oct 12, 2022 at 4:33 PM Ethan Grossman <ethan=
[e-mail]> wrote:

> Hi Greg, do you want me to go through the rest of the (updated) doc at
> this level of grammatical detail, or do you want to leave it to Editorial?
> Ethan.
>
> On Wed, Oct 12, 2022 at 4:27 PM Greg Mirsky <[e-mail]> wrote:
>
>> Hi Ethan,
>> thank you for your thorough review and very helpful suggestions.  I've
>> applied all updates to the working version of the draft with a small
>> modification. I hope that these modifications are acceptable. Please check
>> the attached diff that highlights all updates suggested by Andy and you.
>>
>> Best regards,
>> Greg
>>
>> On Wed, Oct 12, 2022 at 3:15 PM Ethan Grossman <ethan=
>> [e-mail]> wrote:
>>
>>> I have read the document and though I can't comment on the technical
>>> details of OAM or MPLS I find the document is basically readable and
>>> understandable. I have a few minor comments on grammar and spelling - I
>>> suppose such things can be left to Editorial (and at a certain point I
>>> figured I would stop doing this and let Editorial handle it) but you'll
>>> have to deal with them eventually. Below are the first few that I noticed.
>>> Ethan.
>>> ===============
>>> Was: "This document defines format and use principals of the
>>> Deterministic Network (DetNet)"
>>> Spelling - should be "...use principles..."
>>>
>>> Was "Operations, Administration and Maintenance (OAM) protocols are used
>>>    to detect, localize defects in the network, and monitor network
>>>    performance."
>>> Grammar: How about "Operations, Administration and Maintenance (OAM)
>>> protocols are used
>>>    to detect and localize defects in the network, and to monitor network
>>>    performance."
>>>
>>> Was: "Some OAM functions, e.g., failure detection, work in the network
>>> proactively, while others, e.g., defect localization,
>>>    usually performed on-demand."
>>> Grammar, maybe "Some OAM functions (e.g., failure detection) are
>>> usually performed proactively in the network, while others (e.g.,
>>> defect localization) are usually performed on demand."
>>>
>>> Was "format and use principals"
>>> Spelling: "principles"
>>>
>>> Was: "Janos Farcas"
>>> Spelling "Farkas"
>>> =============
>>>
>>>
>>> On Tue, Oct 11, 2022 at 7:22 AM Janos Farkas <Janos.Farkas=
>>> [e-mail]> wrote:
>>>
>>>> All,
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> This starts working group last call on
>>>>
>>>> https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-detnet-mpls-oam/
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> The working group last call ends on October 25th.
>>>>
>>>> Please send your comments to the working group mailing list.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> No IPR has been disclosed against this document.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Positive comments, e.g., "I've reviewed this document and believe it is
>>>> ready for publication", are welcome!
>>>>
>>>> This is useful and important, even from authors.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Thank you,
>>>>
>>>> János (DetNet Co-Chair & doc Shepherd)
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>>>>
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