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Re: [Ianaplan] A draft for your review

Eliot Lear <lear@cisco.com> Sat, 25 October 2014 06:54 UTC

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Date: Sat, 25 Oct 2014 08:54:16 +0200
From: Eliot Lear <lear@cisco.com>
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To: "\"Martin J. Dürst\"" <duerst@it.aoyama.ac.jp>, S Moonesamy <sm+ietf@elandsys.com>, Suzanne Woolf <suzworldwide@gmail.com>
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Subject: Re: [Ianaplan] A draft for your review
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On 10/25/14, 2:29 AM, "Martin J. Dürst" wrote:
>> At 05:50 24-10-2014, Suzanne Woolf wrote:
>
>>> Eliot's language could stand some tinkering, but I can live with it.
>>> Since I owe him text on another point, I'll suggest while I'm here the
>>> following revision:
>>>
>>> "It is important to note that the IETF includes anyone who wishes to
>>> participate, including staff or other participants from ICANN or the
>>> Regional Internet Registries (RIRs), and people affiliated with those
>>> organizations regularly do."
>
> The switch of direction between the first clause (IETF includes) and
> the last one (people do) is still there, and causing confusion. Please
> fix, thanks!
>

I propose simply dropping the last phrase.  I don't know how to really
address the grammar in such a way that the point doesn't sound overstated.

Eliot

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