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Re: [Ianaplan] A draft for your review

"Martin J. Dürst" <duerst@it.aoyama.ac.jp> Fri, 24 October 2014 10:19 UTC

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Date: Fri, 24 Oct 2014 19:18:53 +0900
From: "\"Martin J. Dürst\"" <duerst@it.aoyama.ac.jp>
Organization: Aoyama Gakuin University
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To: S Moonesamy <sm+ietf@elandsys.com>, Eliot Lear <lear@cisco.com>, ianaplan@ietf.org
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Subject: Re: [Ianaplan] A draft for your review
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On 2014/10/24 18:02, S Moonesamy wrote:
> Hi Eliot,
> At 03:01 02-09-2014, Eliot Lear wrote:
>> Well, but that was just the start of my list.  Steve Crocker is the
>> chair of the board of ICANN, and he's also the author of RFC 1 (among
>> many others), a former security AD, and an occasional contributor.
>
>  From draft-ietf-ianaplan-icg-response-01:
>
>    "It is important to note that the IETF includes anyone who wishes to
>     participate, including anyone from ICANN or the regional Internet
>     registries (RIRs), and many people from those organizations regularly
>     do."

Content apart, the grammar of the sentence should be improved. It's 
unclear what "do" refers to. I read it at referring to "include". At the 
minimum, I suggest changing the final "do" to "do participate".

Regards,   Martin.

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