Re: Bad/Good ideas and damage control by experienced participants

[Miles Fidelman <[e-mail]>]

Keith Moore wrote:
> On 6/22/22 15:45, Miles Fidelman wrote:
>
>> All I'm saying is that better take people to task privately, not 
>> publicly - and FAR better than imposing "moderation" or expelling 
>> someone from a list.
> I agree with that much, except that it's nearly always a bad idea to 
> "take people to task".   That's almost never a constructive means of 
> feedback, especially in a forum like IETF which has consensus-making 
> as its explicit goal.
>>
>> Sometimes, a simple "Hey <your name>, That was a bit out-of-line.  
>> Perhaps people might take you more seriously, if you dial it back a 
>> bit" - is more than enough to rein someone in.
>
> Such feedback sounds really presumptuous and at least borderline 
> offensive.   It creates more heat than light.
>
> Instead, I recommend,"Hey, <your name>, I'm trying hard to understand 
> where you are coming from.  Do you think you could explain in a bit 
> more detail?"
>
I was thinking, specifically, of a list admin, or well respected person 
having a "side chat" with someone.  "Private social pressure" if you 
will.  It seems to work pretty well on some neighborhood lists I run - 
neighbors talking politics - in a Boston suburb known for it's political 
correctness.  I maintain a hands-off moderation policy - we're a public 
forum, if you don't like something, hit your delete key or call your 
lawyer - I want neither the headache, nor liabilities associated with 
active moderation.  But... we do have our issues - and one of my 
co-founders - a former city councilwoman - is known to have private side 
chats with people when things get out of hand.  Seems to work 
exceptionally well at toning things down.

Miles

-- 
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice.
In practice, there is.  .... Yogi Berra

Theory is when you know everything but nothing works.
Practice is when everything works but no one knows why.
In our lab, theory and practice are combined:
nothing works and no one knows why.  ... unknown