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Re: Effective discourse in the IETF

Ted Lemon <mellon@fugue.com> Thu, 04 July 2019 19:01 UTC

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From: Ted Lemon <mellon@fugue.com>
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Subject: Re: Effective discourse in the IETF
Date: Thu, 04 Jul 2019 15:00:56 -0400
References: <20190628232206.GC10013@kduck.mit.edu> <e7bf71c3-7842-8699-1f56-36ffa823da99@comcast.net> <20190701223914.GK13810@kduck.mit.edu> <bad99f11-0d66-4aba-72ef-b4b648470753@comcast.net> <34A581FE-BCFA-4FDD-A626-372E036BD79A@cooperw.in> <20190703125524.GB98598@verdi> <c24b3857-fa3e-46a9-f55b-dd160250f290@acm.org> <2807ff5a-7fd3-65cc-5574-ae05df6c622c@acm.org> <20190703141309.GX49950@hanna.meerval.net> <F86FDC5A-AF66-492E-A1FC-678486C26065@fugue.com> <20190703151443.GA49950@hanna.meerval.net> <ce29c166-bdb6-c441-8104-632541b1f12d@network-heretics.com> <7acee776-8dce-294c-6261-8d5c65ce46f7@gmail.com> <98d40a67-7cc5-182a-a203-4b1d06c18917@network-heretics.com> <43377a5b-931e-25f2-353b-8fd4a452ea67@gmail.com> <077de81f-6398-5690-4992-72c0b8251d08@network-heretics.com> <a66a328c-3765-85ef-837f-78f90df65275@gmail.com> <c52e7256-6804-ab16-1cc0-b59b0efae631@network-heretics.com> <F8B7949C-9C82-4A15-8B45-0E0B304EB0E5@episteme.net> <e8fa3003-ea36-25be-1e48-14b06284ea2f@network-heretics.com>
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If I were to state a corollary to Crocker’s rule, it is that in order for any useful discourse to occur, each of us has to let go of a very specific idea.  That idea, stated from my perspective, is that “Ted is usually right.” To test this rule on yourself, do not substitute “I” for “Ted.” Make it personal.  Substitute in your own name.  And then say “Ted is usually wrong” (but substitute your name) and see how that feels.  It can be a fruitful exploratory process.

I go back and forth between the two beliefs, but I find I get better results when I assume that I am usually wrong.  The only reason that this is a problem is that there is a social belief that being wrong is bad.  Realizing that you were wrong is actually an incredibly good outcome, not bad at all.  It’s far worse to not realize that you are wrong.

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